September 5, 2008

Welcome to the Hurdles

Just so you know I spent over an hour on a post last night. It was witty, it was funny, and it was long, hit Publish.... then Blogger ATE it. Well Hell.... so I will try to recreate my wit....

The day started for crap.

I sat bolt upright at 6:45 and realized that Clark had Not woken me up before he left for work @ 5:45, so I had less then a half an hour to wash my butt, get the girl up, dressed, fed, and then out the door!!

I had Kent listen on the monitor for the Turtle while I ran in circles in the shower. Good thing I washed my hair on Wednesday!! 5 minute shower, and I was standing in the kitchen when little Miss started rousing in her crib. Got her up, dressed and fed in record time. Out the door in 35 minutes. Damn good if I say so myself!!

Get to the sitters, and dread starts to set in. We pull up as she is getting her kids in the car for the school run. I put Turtles car seat in her car, and we walked back to the car to get her and her bag. I opened the passenger door to get her bag out, and slammed it into my forehead. HARD. DAMN that freaking hurt. The sitter looked at me and asked if I was OK. I simply said "Am I bleeding?" She told me no, so I grabbed the bag. No time for pain, I was already behind. She gets the Turtle out of my car, and puts her in her car. Turtle FREAKS OUT.... screaming, tears, the whole 9 yards.


Damn, that is NOT what I needed.

I backed ever so slowly out of the driveway, watching the whole time. I sat in the street for what must have been 45 seconds until I realized there was a car behind me. Stepped on the gas, and tears ran down my face. It broke my heart to leave her there.

Off I go, and up the road. My cell rings at 7:45, and it is Clark. "Wake up," he says. I hung up on him. Jackass.

Note to self: When you have a long drive do not, I repeat DO NOT drink a ton of coffee before and during said drive, cuz you just know your gonna get stuck in traffic. DUMBASS!!

So, by the time I get to the clinic, 5 minutes late, I had a cramp in my hip from pressing my foot against the floorboard to keep from pissing myself. That was the best 2 minutes of my life I swear!! I am telling you though, if there hadn't been a Highway Trooper 2 cars in front of me, I would have gotten out and peed in the ditch... yeah it was THAT bad!!

I get called back to sign away my life, ok not my life, but $12,000.00 bucks of it anyway. 12 grand to MAYBE make a baby, am I crazy?? Oh yeah, I forgot, I am.

Bloodletting.... that went fine.

B/P NotSoMuch 137/93 hmmm...... wonder what that is about. It has been high like that for a few weeks now.

Injection class.... ummm thanks don't need this one, was just here, and I hardly have forgotten how to work the stupid Pen, thanks, but no thanks.

Oh CooterCam you're next... how I missed thee!!!

Dr. KnockedMeUpLastTime comes rushing in the room, and asks..

"Where is the baby??"

"Uh, at the sitters."

"Why, you know we like to see the babies!!"

"Uh yeah I know, but it would just be to much for her."

What I really wanted to ask him though was if he was kidding. I mean I refuse to rub my Ticket into the face of someone who hasn't gotten theirs yet, and you would think they would get that. Of course the woman who brought her toddler in with her didn't get it either... I mean really how selfish and self centered do you have to be to do something shitty like that??? UGH!!!

U/S lasted 45 seconds. Things must look good because that was the shortest meeting with the Wand I have ever had.

One last chat with IVFNurse, get my Pen, and a script for Clark, and out the door I go. Thank heavens that is over. Now to sit by the phone!!

The Turtle was totally great at the sitters, and was just over the moon with a smile that made me cry again when I went to get her!!! That little girl sure knows how to touch her mommies heart!!!

Called the phone tree just after 4 pm, and I must have been suppressed because I got instructions for 200 units last night, tonight, Saturday, and Sunday. Return 8:30 Monday morning.

200 units??

Maybe it is the extra 35 pounds. Maybe the higher FSH. Need to remember to ask about that on Monday, cuz that is just 50 units short of my OHSS dose, and I SOOOOO do not want to go there again!!!

So, I shot up, and frankly it was very anticlimactic. I almost feel like this is the wrong thing to be doing right now. I pray that I am wrong, but I can't get into it right now. I just wanted to let you all know how the visit went, and that I am ok. Just feeling a little out of sorts about all of this. More later I promise.

7 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

I cannot believe that they wanted to see the baby. NOT because she isn't lovely, but like you said, I don't think I could do that.

What a craptastic day, Rebel. I'm sorry.

Deb said...

Reb, it sounds like your ambivalence is making you crazy. Try not to let it make you too nutsy-cuckoo, your not to far from falling off that branch of the tree as it is (lol).
So now what? Wait and see what happens Monday (is that next cause I don't know much about this process - ya know that though)? But if it's wait and see, then I'll get the chips you grab the dip cause I'm right here with you.
(If it's not to awful for you to watch I may sneak in a beer or two while we wait - all this Hanna nonsense is irkin my nerves)

Kristin said...

The ambivalence and stress about "what if" is probably what is upping the blood pressure. {{{Hugs}}} and hope it goes well.

Rhonda said...

Breath deeply, be a good girl and shoot up when you are told to, have a baby, and watch out for future car doors. (Ouch!)

Blog Stalker said...

I feel for you and your day. i have some of those days myself. Heck, we all do. I am new to your blog. It was a great read and I feel for you.

You definitely need some you time or maybe just some quiet not busy time.

Anyway, heres to things looking up and everything working out for you the way it should!

Tracey said...

Breath...it's ok...Gods is there...breath...I feel for you...and hope you can take another breath later!

Lost in Space said...

So sorry for your craptastic day. You have alot on your plate right now. One injection and one day at a time. I hope it gets a little easier. Hugs.

You are too sweet for thinking of those who have yet to find their way to parenthood.