September 28, 2008

Dark Place

I am really feeling the failure of this cycle, and right now things are hurting my heart so badly.

I took a long shower today and cried the whole time.

I am pretty sure that this cycle didn't work, and I am not really in a place where I think I even want to talk about it because there are not to many places left to go after this.

We have 4 frozen embies who didn't look that good on paper before they froze them. I don't have any faith in them thawing and then growing enough to transfer, infact I wish I had never frozen them because it gave me false hope.

Turtle is almost crawling, and while I should be happy about it, I'm not. I want her to stay little forever........

11 comments:

Aunt Becky said...

*hugs*

I hate the Dark Place. Let me know if I can do anything to help.

Rhonda said...

Oh, I'm so sad for you! I hope you're wrong. I really, really hope that you're wrong.

Take care of yourself!

Kristin said...

Rebel...I'm hoping and praying for you and this cycle. I'm here if you need me.

deanna said...

Oh, sweetie.......**hugs**

I know how awful it is to fall into this kind of despair, but please try to hold out some hope.

Thinking of you....

tesi said...

whoa what have I missed here....I thought you werent doing beta yet....and hey this fat lady didnt sing yet damnitall
Spill
Kisses
Tesi

Deb said...

luv u...

Dora said...

It aint over til it's over! Keep breathing.

Stick your nose in Turtle's neck, inhale her sweet baby scent, and keep breathing.

We're here, girl!

SAHW said...

The dark place is hard to be in...but don't let yourself go there, there's no reason to think this cycle didn't work, is there? Keep your hope up as much as you can, love on Turtle to keep your spirits up.

Samantha said...

As Tesi said, the fat lady didn't sing yet - there's still hope out there. I'll hold onto it for you if you can't right now.

Tracey said...

HUGS! I AM SO SORRY YOU ARE FEELING SO DOWN!! MAY GOD'S HANDS BE ON YOU!

Just Me. said...

I hope you're wrong. It ain't over till the fat lady sings! I've been praying and crossing my fingers, toes for you.

((((hugs))))