November 25, 2007


At least I think that is what the hell I am doing... it is 1:40 in the am here in the Infertile house, and I am up..... you see my washer and dryer have been vomiting pink and various girly shades for about 5 hours now, and I think, maybe, just maybe, that I might be done for the night!!

It all started this morning when I rolled out of bed, and decided that TODAY was the DAY that we were going to go buy Turtle's dresser. I informed Clark of my plans, and that he was not being asked, but rather he was being informed that he was going to go to T*rget to help me acquire said dresser, but not before we partook in the purchase of X-mas gifts for the grandmothers to be at K-M*rt. We woke Kent, gave him instructions and were out the door before 9. We got part of the stuff at K-M*rt, and I allowed Clark to purchase a few toys for himself... yeah the man LOVES anything Volkswag*n, and imagine his surprise when we found all kinds of MatchB*x type cars in every form of Volkswag*n he could want, so I indulged him!! He was to cute for words I have to admit. Off, to T*rget, acquire said dresser, a few other little things, get some lunch, and then home we go!! Five minutes in the door and I was BEGGING Clark to bring the dresser in so we could put it together.... Or rather I should say I put together!! Kent helped me some by reading the directions, and in less then 2 hours we had a beautiful piece of nursery furniture up and ready to receive clothing... which it has been!!! So, along with the few things that I picked up, the clothes that we got from the shower, and the HUGE box of stuff I scored for an amazing price at a yard sale, I have been force feeding my washer all evening!! I cannot tell you how it feels to be washing those little things for MY daughter. Putting things on hangers in her closet that she will be wearing in just a few short weeks, with any luck, and trying to take it all in while I can. It is still amazing to me that this is going to happen, and just like quite a few of you out there in BlogLand have reminded me, it may take a long time to get used to the whole idea... but hopefully we will have all that time!!!

I have been having some issues though that will warrant a call to the OB on Monday. I have been having some pretty severe headaches, shooting stars in my vision, numbness in my hands and feet, and then today while at L*wes I almost fainted. I felt my heart beating funny, and stopped to think, when I suddenly felt everything going fuzzy. Clark was right there and asked if I was ok, but as soon as I thought I felt better, I literally lost all my strength, and he had to hold me up. After a minute or so I felt better, but that really bothers me a lot, so I am going to call and let the doc know. Turtle has been moving a lot, so I don't think that there is anything wrong with her, but these things together could mean something for me, so I need to ask.....

Before I sign off, I want to ask for a little prayer... Kent has his yearly MRI this coming Monday to check his tumor for growth, and to scan for any new tumors.... so if you could say a little something for us that all will be clear, and he will start this year as his 6th in remission, I would love you all forever!! I get so worried every time we have to do this, that we are going to get bad news, and up until now it has been good, so it would be really nice to keep the luck flowing for another year!!!

I better get to bed now... I am really starting to get sleepy!! Hugs to all out in BlogLand!!!

November 19, 2007

Meet the Turtle.....

Well, I know I said that we were doing the 3-D last Thursday, and we went, but little miss Turtle wasn't trying to have anything to do with getting her pictures taken!! The harder we tried to get her to move and look at us, the more she snuggled into that placenta!!! She was head up and off to the right side on Thursday evening. After trying for almost a half an hour to get pics the U/S tech told me to just take the weekend, drink all the water I could, and come back today at noon. Well, I did just that, and then added a Venti White Chocolate Mocha w/ 3 shots of espresso from St*rBucks about a half and hour before the U/S... normally I wouldn't do that, but damn it $150 bucks was riding on that cup of freaking coffee!!! Well, little Turtle had decided at some point during the weekend to go from head up to head down and we got to see quite a bit of her pretty little face!!! She has her mommies chin, a TON of hair, and loves to play Peek-A-Boo already (as she did that for half of the session!!!) She loves to play with her face, and often had her hand up touching her lips. We got to see her swallowing, practicing breathing, and sticking her tongue out!!

I cannot tell you how surreal it was for me to see my daughters face!! This whole pregnancy has seemed like a dream, and I still have a hard time believing that this is all happening, in fact I am sure that it won't totally hit me until she is safe in my arms, and maybe not even then!!! I mean it is just so hard to wrap my mind around the fact that this little human is living in my "belly", even though I feel her move, and can see her on the U/S's, it just doesn't seem fathomable at all, quite the opposite actually!! I have started feeling like this is all a horrible joke, and I am going to wake up one morning, and she will be gone... Clark says that I am being unrealistic, but I know the terrible things that can happen, and I am not right for the day until this little girl lets me know she is in there by moving!! I mean 31 weeks, and I am still in denial... Wonder if it is ever gonna be real?????

November 15, 2007


Things here in the Infertile house have been freaking insane the last 2 weeks!! I felt like I was going to lose my mind, and just when I thought I could relax, I realized that next Thursday is Thanksgiving... how in the hell did that happen?? Wasn't it just May, didn't I just transfer?? Where did June go?? And the rest of summer??? Gah!!!

So I guess I owe you all an update of some kind huh?? Just kidding, I know I do, and so you know this is going to be LONG!!!

Kent: Nothing has changed much, and I am not expecting it to. I haven't given up on him, but right now I am letting Clark expend his energy dealing with him. I took him to the Ped. last Friday, and he spent the whole appointment humiliating me by being really rude, and pulling out his arm hairs.

Turtle: Little Miss is doing just fine. We had our 30 week OB appointment yesterday, Mommy is 166 pounds, B/P was 118/68, no protein, found out that we passed the Glucose test with an 88, so well below the cutoff. Everything seems to be measuring on track, but the whole visit lasted all of 4 minutes!!! I got a note to get my flu shot, and scheduled our 3D ultrasound... for today at 5:30.... I am a little irritated with this because the U/S is at the OB's office, and costs me $150.00, I was under the impression that they did the 3D's every Friday of the month, but they have decided to just do them once a month, and the cut off is 32 weeks (since these US's are for keepsake purposes only, and they want you to get good pics).... so by the time the next day was due to come around I would have been 34 weeks, making the Turtle to cramped. However, I paid, and they handed me the instruction sheet that says to start drinking 48 ounces of fluid everyday for 2-3 days before the scan, well I had less then 24 hours when I booked it... UGH!! So I will be heading out early, Clark and I are going to do a little grocery shopping before the US and then head back home after. I just hate that it will be so freaking dark by the time we head back home!!!

Oh yeah, and you know what?? I had THE Baby Shower last weekend (the 10th) and it was the baby shower that almost wasn't!!! Let me just start by saying that I have no ill will towards women who simply have sex to get pregnant, but I do have it against the ones who had it easy and then want to blame the fact that they are and were an idiot on the fact that they are pregnant!! See, the woman who works the desk at the hotel where we were due to have our shower is 5 months pregnant, and a total AIRHEAD!! I went into the hotel on the 30th of Oct, to ask about rooms, and ended up finding out that they had an actual meeting room ( they are VERY newly opened, by like 2 months) and after I found out the rate ($200.00 for the whole day) I talked it over with Clark, and went back the very next day to reserve the room. Now I ASKED 2 times that Tuesday just to make sure the date was open and was told that it was by both Front Desk Pregnancy, and the manager. I was also assured that they had rooms available for the family that was attending. So, when I was there on the 31st I gave the Pregnant One, my CC# and then I told her that I would give her my home number just in case, and then even added my cell to that to, because I knew I was going to be busy for the time from then to the shower... oh and I had a friend there with me who heard the whole thing. So off we went, and I assumed everything was fine. I asked Clark a few times that next week if they had charged us for the room and he always said no... we just assumed (there is that word again) that they were going to do it the day of the Shower. So, the 10th, I have a friend in from out of town, and we head off around 1 to the hotel... get there and see bags sitting by the back door. The door was locked, so we go around front, and I walked into a lobby full of people, a caterer set up in the breakfast area, and my friend coming around the corner and she says to me... "Hey there are a bunch of people in the room you are supposed to have your shower in...." Long story short the Pregnant One booked 2 parties that day, and SWORE to my face that I never gave her a contact number, and that she had tried to call every Infertile in the book... DUH we are sooooo unlisted!! She also informed me that the family that I told her was coming NEVER booked rooms, to which I asked her if all of her relatives had the same last name that she did??? I mean really, she was kidding right??? So by now I am freaking out, and my 2 best friends step in to handle things, and it started to get ugly. Pregnant One starts bawling talking about how she is pregnant and we are stressing her out... oh the IRONY!!! The maintenance guy gets involved, and they keep telling us to just leave. Well my Friend M just looked at the guy and says " Rebel waited 14 years to have this Baby Shower and this baby, and if you think that we are leaving then you have another thing coming... I am sure that the Newspaper and local TV stations would LOVE to hear how you put an infertile woman through all this BS after all she has already been through" That's my girl!!! Boy they got freaked, and soon the GM was on the phone saying that we could have the room after the other party left at 4:30... no dice, we told them we had people coming at 3 that we couldn't contact... so they finally offered us the breakfast area after the manger suggested it would be big enough, and we accepted, but only at NO CHARGE to us. Once we got that settled, we had a great time, but I swear if it hadn't been for my friends I would be blogging from Jail!!!! The Shower really did end up being nice, even though I look ready to murder in half the photo's, and fun was had by all. Turtle got some awesome stuff, and it was really nice to have so many people who have supported us share the day with us!!!

So now I need to start working on THE room, I have finally settled on a crib and furniture, so that is the next big purchase we have to make. It all seems so surreal to me even now that I am getting a bit of a bigger belly, and she has become quite the "Uterine Terrorist" I am not kidding you, this kid loves to beat me internally!!! I am still at 30 1/2 weeks getting the "You are pregnant?", and then the "That far?? Really??" Hell I even got it at the OB's office Tuesday.... so do you think I have a baby belly yet?? Not. So. Much.!!! Oh well, I am getting over that a little more everyday, I just want her to be here and be healthy!!

Well, I am off to "start" the day, so I will post some of the 3D photo's tonight or tomorrow.... Hugs

November 2, 2007

Soooo Sorry!!!!!!

Well, if it isn't one thing it is another... our satellite provider has been having some issues, and because of that I either couldn't sign on, or access Blogger, so that is part of my reason for the absence.

The other is that Kent has decided that he has lost his damn mind!!! He has ramped up his lying, and then started stealing money from around the house. He is failing almost all of his classes, and just having a very nasty attitude at home all the time. I have decided that it would be best to take him back to his psychiatrist then to try to beg him to change, as I tried that one already, and it was a no go. I just cannot imagine what in the world is going on with him that has turned him into such a hateful little person, but he says and does the meanest things, and frankly to be honest with you, I am OVER it!!! Clark does most of the talking anymore, as I just feel to betrayed and hurt by all of his behavior to not be mean in return. We ended up letting him have his party, and then we found out that he had told an adult that he KNEW he would get his party, and his game system because no matter what he did we always caved, and gave him whatever he asks for.... then he laughed and told her what a pair of pushovers we were.... can you say I may have to hurt him?? No I wouldn't really, but damn you wanna talk about feeling like you have been stabbed in the back!!! Of course he denied that he said it, but then came clean and actually laughed in my face about it, which hurt me even more!! I just don't get it, and if this is how things are going to go then I am not sure what is going to happen with him, all I know is I don't need this shit right now!!!

As for Turtle, she is doing just fine!!! We will be 29 weeks on Monday the 5th. I did an interview with her pediatrician today, and I liked her so much I am going to start taking Kent there now to. Turtle went nuts kicking the whole time the doc was talking to us, so I will take that as a good sign for now!! LOL After the interview I went and got almost all of the stuff that I needed for our Baby Shower on the 10th... it was up in the air because we just found a place to have it this past Wednesday!! I know cutting it close, but when you live in a small rural area, nice places are hard to find!! The best part is that I won't have to worry about my dogs being traumatized, or the dogs traumatizing the guests!! LOL Not to mention cleaning the hell out of my house just so it can get messed up again!! I think that it is going to be nice, and I will post pictures of all of the days events!! I am actually hand making a lot of the favors, as it just ends up being cheaper. We are getting the food at a deli and then making some, so it will hopefully be nice. I am a little worried though, because the RSVP date has come and gone, and only 7 people have let me know they are coming, so I am getting a little worried about that... oh well what can you do??

I am actually starting to get quite the belly, so I MAY post a belly pic, but just not sure yet..... the reason behind that is that it really doesn't look like a pregnant belly... in fact the last time I was at the OB's, he said I need to exercise more because I was very flabby in the tummy!!! Uh geez, can you say I lost over 120 pounds, so it is loose freaking skin not fat you jackass??!!! But really, I don't look very pregnant, I just look kinda fat!! LOL Oh well, I am feeling VERY pregnant, as this little one is killing my ribs, and thinks that either her foot or her fist is a great fit for my liver!! She is pretty active in there, so I haven't had to use the Doppler in a long time, in fact I might send it back early.

Well, that is all for now, I will let you all know how the week goes, as I am really going to try to post more often now that things are getting closer to the "end", and because I also feel better even just typing a vent about Kent, because I know Clark gets tired of hearing about it all the time!!! Well, Hugs to everyone, and thanks so much for checking in on us!!! I love ya all!!!!