A Confession

I have to admit something. A confession of sorts. It is however totally out there, but it has really been on my mind the last few days.

The morning I had my appointment with the RE last week, I was in the shower, my happy place, and I got to thinking about how blessed I really have been. A great Husband. A great Son. A beautiful little Girl. A house, my health, yada, yada, yada, you know all that stuff that makes a life great.

Then my mind wandered to all of the losses in the Blogosphere IF community as of late, and I thought about how lucky I was there to. I have struggled, and I have lost, but I have not lost like some of you out there. I silently wondered to the universe why nothing horrible like that had ever happened to me. I then told the universe that I wished just once that I could shoulder some of that hurt. That I would "Take one for the Team" so to speak if it meant that one less person had to have her heart broken.

I know it sounds really bizarre, maybe even masochistic, but I am just so tired of seeing the people that I care about get hurt, when I feel like I have had more then my fair share of good luck. I know it would hurt me in some way, but that is the kind of person I am, I would rather hurt then have someone else hurt.

Geez does this sound like total bullshit or does it make sense?? I cannot explain it much better then that.

So, I guess in a way I almost feel like if tomorrow is Bad then someone else somewhere is not getting her Bad news, and you know that almost makes it worth it to me.