Did you Hear that Pin Drop???

If not, it happened yesterday morning at about 10:15 AM to be almost exact.

My day started out at about 12:30 AM when the Turtle decided to barf the entire contents of her bottle all over the living room floor, and then wake her daddy as she was totally inconsolable.

Should have known it was gonna be a f*cker of a day then.

Fever of 102.3.

Tylenol on board, that proceeded to come back up 2 times before she finally kept it down.

She finally settled back down at around 3, and I wearily crawled back into bed with Clark.

6:00 and the alarm hadn't gone off, I rolled over to find Clark still in bed, and I jumped up thinking the power had gone out and we were late. He called to me to come back to bed, that he had reset the alarm, and was going to work late.

To late, I was up.

Wide Awake.

The girl got up just a few minutes later.

She got a bottle that she managed to keep mostly down.

Clark finally got up, and got ready for work.

I showered while Turtle was napping, and got dressed.

Clark took the Turtle to work with him since I had to be at the clinic early.

Got to the clinic, they were running a little behind, no big deal.

While I was sitting in the waiting room Clark called to tell me that the Turtle was freaking out and wouldn't let anyone hold her, so he couldn't pee. LOL. Welcome to my world!!

About 10:00, I get put into my room.

The drill.

Strip from the waist down.

RE comes in.

I get in the stirrups.

We joke about any number of things, and she tells me that my blood work had come back off. She was concerned about why I was bleeding on active BCP'S. No biggie though, prolly just the PCOS.

I told her, as she started injecting the Saline, that maybe I had a Uterine hitchhiker already that was causing us all these problems.

I was Joking.

I shouldn't have.

About 3 minutes into the sono, the room got quiet.

The Pin Dropped.

She turned the screen.

"Do you see that??" She pointed at a white spot on the screen.

"Yes" I say.

I saw it, I knew almost immediately that this couldn't be good. She was to quiet.

"Just a minute, let me see if it moves".... More saline in.

It moved a little.

But......

Not enough.

"Let me turn on the doppler"

"This is bad, it looks like a tumor."

"It has blood flow to it."

HUH?? I didn't come here for that. I only came to get the ok to start an IVF cycle.

I don't have my bad news t-shirt on I tell her so she can't be serious.

She is.

It looks bad.

70% chance that this isn't going to end good.

I am to come back next week for another U/S and a visit with her and on Reproductive Oncologist.

You.

Have.

Got.

To.

Be.

Kidding.

She wasn't.

For this to show up this fast, and be so large, it really couldn't be a good thing.

I put a smile on my face.

I joked about this being the story of my life, and how my uterus is trying to pay me back for forcing it to carry the Turtle.

I left the clinic after trying to get the appointment set.

I would have to call later to see when both docs could see me at the same time.

As I walked out the door the sun was shining, and a single thought struck me.

Turtle.

What about her.

How am I going to do this?

I am scared out of my fucking mind.

I have been told more then 10 times in the past almost 24 hours that it is good that we had Turtle when we did. Now if I have to lose my uterus, at least we have her.

Yeah, but if this is bad for real, at the end of this will she have me??