What was I thinking??.....

When I left the house this afternoon?? I was requested by DH to go out to lunch with him because well, I am a SAHM, the Boy went back to school today, and he was home "mourning" ... gotta love having a govt. employee as a spouse. (most of the time anyway) I really haven't been feeling to well on this BCP/Lupron combo, and I have been VERY bitchy, and besides I had a headache, but I told him that I would love to have lunch with him. See, I was thinking that I could get one more meal of Sushi in before (hopefully) I can't eat it for 9 months, but he had other plans....

I need to cut into my own story to plant a seed in your minds ... we live in the south, I am surrounded by RedNecks, and most of the time I really don't mind as they can be wholly entertaining to be around, but there are times when I know, and am reminded that we live in an area where the gene pool is shallow at best. No, I am not "from" here I am a transplant, and yes I totally chose to live here, and I for the most part love all of the RedNecks I run into ... but I digress...

So into town we go and DH decides that we will go to Mega chinese buffet. Now we live in the rural south, and our town has maybe 200 people, so when we go to the "city" it isn't a major metropolitan area at all. The shopping here is limited, and so are the eatery choices... esp. the ones that I will eat at, and Mega Buffet is one of the ones I like. So in we go, and the first thing I am faced with is the CUTEST little Asian baby. The woman holding her is obviously not her mother (the blonde hair, and very pale skin gave that one up), and she is in the middle of what I am sure is her answer to that very question.... "well, we left her middle name as her Korean first name, I don't know for the life of me what it means, but I am sure that will give her something to look forward to finding out when she is older." Are you freaking kidding me?? You left an intrigal part of your child's heritage intact but you don't know what her name means?? I have it on very good authority that it is very important what Korean women name their babies, and it is also very hard emotionally for them to relinquish due to the family values there!! (I have a Korean step-mom) ACK....

So, we get seated, and what to my eyes do appear??? Pregnant bellies everywhere.. holy shit... Don't they know an Infertile has entered the building, and they should all run screaming from the joint for fear of catching it??? Ok, maybe not, but for crying out loud... I know that pregnant women love chinese food, but how in the hell did so many of them end up at this buffet?? Oh that's right, I live in rural America, land of few choices of places to eat really good chinese food, screwed. The sad thing about it was that it seemed that as one left she was replaced by yet another. The highlight came though when I was on a trip to get more snap beans (I'm a Junkie feeding a habit!!) and I find myself standing next to 2 of the aforementioned bellies. Now my plan was to get my beans, avoid eye contact, and return to my table ... but this woman commanded my attention with the best comment I have heard in a long time... "I can tell you that losing my job last week is the best thing that has happened to me this whole pregnancy, but with what welfare pays for babies these days I don't know how I am going to feed two extra mouths." @@ So, I HAD to look up, and I looked into the face of my worst nightmare ... she had to have been pushing 50 (no I am serious), reeked of cigarette smoke, had filthy clothes on, a few stumps of teeth left, and she was making this comment to her 14-16 year old looking companion with identical (albeit slightly smaller) PG belly..... Nuff said. Don't you just love rural life????

I get a horrorscope everyweek that goes a day at a time for the week, and as if I wasn't having enough of a problem deciding if doing this IVF was right, timing, and all the other doubts I am having I get this email from the writer of my scope.. in it she freaks me the hell out... look at this....

This new period of luck will be bountiful. I can already feel it vibrating very deeply in me! ( am I the only one who see's that as WEIRD???)
This lucky period starts for you at the very beginning of January 12th, 2007 and will reach its peak exactly 83 days later, on April 5th, 2007 (the second very important date in your life...)!
After that, you'll still have 145 days left in the lucky period, then, that's it. It'll all be over -- unless you've learned by then to take charge of your luck, to grab it with both hands and direct it where you choose!
But we're only talking about your financial problems now -- we are forgetting the emotional side of your personality. You are also in the midst of negotiating a very important turning-point in your emotional and family life. Despite your financial difficulties, Rebel, you've succeeded in maintaining a certain bond of intimacy with your close friends and loved ones.
And so much the better for them and for you. You really must decide to free yourself from this heavy burden created by the negative waves you've been accumulating for so many, many years. It's your happiness and your future that we are talking about now, and by extension, the happiness and future of your close friends and loved ones. Yes, I see happiness and love headed your way, Rebel, the love which you've always aspired to and which YOU DESERVE!

Now where in the hell does this come from?? I mean really this kind of thing wants to make me run screaming from the room not send her money for some stupid book for cripes sake!!! I don't have financial issues, and if I did how would sending her money help me there, other then being 10 bucks broker?? Oh boy. If I was suspicious, I might bite as the 11th is the day I am supposed to start stims, and I think that about the time my luck would change would be right about the time I would deliver ... oh great there goes 10 bucks.... FUDGE!!!