Well, after 4 days on stims, I have 10 good ones cooking on the left ovary, and 7-8 on the right!!! Woo Hoo!! My lining was at a 5 already. I was actually surprised to see so many there because I haven't felt but a few twinges here and there and just those were in the last day or so... but nothing that told me that many!!! So I will stay on 250 units of F*lliSting, and 10 units of L*pron until Thursday, and then I go in that morning for another check. The RE says if all stays like this we should count on a Monday or Tuesday Ret.!!! I cannot believe it will be here that fast!!!
Ok, I wanted to get that up, and then here I sit still not being able to freaking sleep. I have to admit that I am now scared out of my mind. I am so worried about all that can go wrong that it is almost paralyzing me with fear. I want to be excited about this whole thing, I really do, but all I can think about is all that can go wrong. I pray that I will come through this with the best possible outcome, but hell we all know that IF is a tricky bitch, and she lives to toss boulders in our way every step of the way!! I want to let myself think like a normal fertile, and start planning a nursery among other things, but my mind refuses to do it. My heart on the other hand is totally convinced that this is going to work, and in 9 short months I will be bringing a bundle home... ahhh, but the mind knows better then that!! Right now I can't count on anything, and that just pisses me off. I am so freaking tired of waiting for the other shoe to drop that I just wish this was all over with and I could get on with living my life, however it ends up!! UGH!!!! God, I hate INFERTILITY!!!
On another note, I saw the woman and her husband that I posted about last week this AM when I was at the Clinic, and she actually spoke to me. I asked her a few questions, and we chatted for a few minutes before I had to leave. I guess I just felt the need to go out of my way to speak to her and kinda let her know that I understood where she was at, and that I get the whole thing, ins. frustrations and all. She kinda seemed to be in a little better place, and that was nice. The Clinic was pretty busy this AM because they were only there for half of the day, so I felt very freaking rushed, but I didn't want to be there all day anyway!!
Tomorrow night Kent has his Induction ceremony for the Junior Beta Club, and I for the life of me tried to get him to cut his damn hair tonight, but he will not do it!! That kid is gonna make me NUTS with the hair thing. It just looks goofy on him because his hair is so stringy!! But, oh well I guess there are only a few things a 15 year old can control, and hair ranks right up at the top for him!! He and Clark have been having a great time playing with their RC trucks, and it is nice to see them spending so much time together. It is hard to imagine in just 4 more (or maybe less) years he will be going off to college. That little guy is so my hero!! He is just amazing, yeah we have our days, but he has come so far from where he was when he came to live with us at 10 that it just blows my mind that he is the same kid!! We are so proud of him!!
Well I am off to get some much needed beauty sleep!! LOL not that sleep is doing me much good these days!! Hey Clark has lucked out, I still haven't found my inner Raving Bitch yet!! So he lives to fight another day!! Night.
What’s the word for one step past kintsukuroi?
6 hours ago