When I got your first comment last night, it was late and I was inclined to let it sit until this morning, but I opened the email, and didn't know how to feel upon first reading it. I hit anger, and sadness, hell I went through the whole gamut of emotions.
The one that sticks with me though is sadness, for you actually. I cannot imagine that you would forgo parenthood at the slight risk that an embryo that you adopted "could" have a treatable mental illness. That adopted Embryo, unless of course they did PGD to assure a mostly healthy, disease free MaybeBaby, still has the very real possibility of having any of the other thousands of mental and or physical disorders that there are on this planet. There is no guarantee of a healthy child at the end of ANY pregnancy.
I do not have a clue where my Bi-polar came from as there is NO family history. I lived in hell growing up because no one knew what was "wrong" with me. I was treated like a black sheep, and some of the people who should have looked out for me, took advantage of my state, in more ways then one.
I am actually a Bi-Polar II meaning that I suffer mostly from severe depression, and not much mania, which is very well controlled with meds.
If you think that the nights I have worried about passing this on to any of my children have been few and far in between, then you would be dead wrong.
I honestly feel that the severity of Bi-Polar can also be situational, and my childhood was far from a fucking fairytale, so I feel that made it a lot worse then.
Now that I am all grown up, I can actually be thankful for most of the shitty places my life has been because they have made me the loving, caring, honest and open person that I am today.
I take my meds, I know I need to.
I don't play games with drugs and alcohol, and I stay away from negative influences.
Honestly that is more then I can say for some of the "mentally stable" people I know.
I have no intention of keeping any of the health issues that I or Clark have off any questionnaire when we are trying to find a family for our embryo's. While I thank you for your concern for their possible future parents and selves, unless you know a lot about living with someone who is Bi-polar, are your self, or have personal knowledge of how the disease works beyond what you have read in the paper or on TV, I would thank you not to judge to harshly.
Living with this illness is no different then living with most other illnesses. Please research it. We struggle to get through every day just as a diabetic would. Chances are you have a family member or know someone who is Bi-Polar, but you don't usually know because we don't tend to advertise... it could be that whole looked at like we are crazy thing that seems to happen more often then not.
So, please do not presume that you yourself would not produce offspring that could be Bi-Polar, all kinds of things could come from your DNA that you don't even know about.
Educate yourself please, and enjoy the weather in New York this weekend.
A Not-So Happy Ending
5 hours ago