Stupid little Man

UGH, I swear to you that I really wonder how in the hell some of these people get a license to practice medicine. Before I tell you about the appointment with the PCP, let me tell you about the phone call I got from him Monday night.

Him: Returning your call about the UTI. How is it that you are SURE that you have a UTI??

Me: Well, they sell these home UTI tests at the drug store, and two of them so far have been positive.

Him: You mean to tell me they have home UTI tests now??

Me: Uh yeah, for a few years now..... they also have a Vaginal infection one that I took that also says something is up down there, so I need to see ya.

Him: Wow that is really interesting, I didn't know they made those.

Him: Well, maybe you should see your OB if you really think it is something serious like that.

Me: Well to tell you the TRUTH, your Co-pay is 15 bucks cheaper, not to mention the time and gas to get there, oh yeah and BTW, I tried that one already, they couldn't get me in for over a week, so you are it!!

At that point I began to seriously doubt the scope of this mans life experiences!! I mean you have got to be kidding me, you are a DOCTOR, and you didn't know they have all these home test kits out there?? Have you been living in a freaking bubble???? OMG!!!

Fast forward to my appointment....

I pee in a cup, then we go through all of my symptoms, and he is like totally dumbfounded.

Him: Well I suppose we should do a pelvic and see what we see..

Me: WE?? Who the fuck is we, you have a friend in your pocket?? (Yeah, yeah, I know the nurse, but it was the way he said it that heebed me out.)

Out he goes, and I get undressed, the whole time having to keep the Turtle occupied. He took so damn long that I had to get up, get dressed, and go pee.... frequent urination.... one of those pesky symptoms.

Finally he comes back in nurse in tow, and just about killed me when the speculum went in.... DAMN!!! Does the slides, then out comes the speculum, OMG, I think I just gave birth again...

Him: Oh wow did that hurt??

Me: Not really, but do you think you could help pick my ass up off the floor?? (OK, I didn't really say that, but geez dude, I cried out when you pulled it out, so do you think it freaking hurt???? (Oh man I just reread that, is it me or did that whole thought just sound wrong?? LOL he he he)) He totally man handled me doing the pelvic. It was the worst one I have had in my 35 years. That says a lot considereing I have prolly had 500 of those exams. Geez dude, I realize it isn't yours, but that doesn't mean you have to be mean to it!!!

Him: Ok let me go look at these and I will be back.

I get dressed, and sit there. He comes in and tells me this:

Him: Well, No UTI, no yeast infection, no vaginal infection period, unless of course you have chlamydia or gonorrhea, which I highly doubt, but I sent them off anyway. ( Ok, Jackass, they come back positive, and someone in this house is in for a murder rap... and yeah that would be me!!) I am sending your urine to be cultured to since there must be SOMETHING going on since your little tests said there was (and yeah he totally tried to bust out the sarcasm here, of course it could have been the fact that I brought them with me, showed them to him, and then asked him if he knew that they had home pregnancy tests now to!! Oh come on I couldn't NOT do it!!! LOL)

Him: So I am just going to give you a script for this antibiotic, it should cure all that ails you. I really think that you have some kind of pelvic infection though since you seem to be so tender down there.

HUH?? All that ails, me, but didn't you just say that nothing seems to be wrong, and tender yeah ya think, I have Endo... OK whatever enough said give me my script I am out the door. Off to T*rget to get the drugs. Score. About 200 bucks worth of stuff for the Turtle later (that girl is freaking spoiled I tell ya!!!) and we are out the door. Now since I have never taken this drug, I G**gle it.....

NO FREAKING WAY AM I TAKING THIS SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!

I cannot believe that the man gave me a script when he KNOWS I take Metf*rmin, and baby aspirin, both of which are contraindicated, not to mention the WSJ article that was just written about the dangers of it over the weekend... Damn!! Oh well I am just gonna talk to the RE about it this afternoon. Something tells me that the Endo is back and more then happy to see me..... DAMN. Please just pray that she doesn't tell me that I have to have surgery again, because that may very well be a deal breaker!!!!

I will update later!!