July 24, 2008


You need them. I need them. We all need them. They are like a glass of wine, or a piece of fine chocolate when you are down. They fill the holes that get left when we are hurt or lose a loved one, they are just....


I have had my fair share of them.

Most of them have moved on, and a select few stuck around.

I have friends that I have had since middle school.

I have friends that I met just last weekend (Samantha).

The one thing that has always been consistent for me though, is that I sort of demand a level of respect from my long time friends, that I don't think is to daunting... well I didn't until about a week ago anyway. I rarely ever bring my RL, other then the members of the Infertiles into my blog, but I have been so blind sided by a friend, I will call her Lee, that I almost can't function. She has cut a wide path in my heart, and won't even acknowledge that she has done it, or me for that matter, and my heart is broken.

She has been for the last 13 years more of a sister to me then a friend. Our lives have run mostly parallel since we have known each other. We really could be sisters. We have the same sense of humor, the same hair color, eye color. We have the same favorite color, taste in music, drinks, had the same weight loss surgeries, hell until I quit we even smoked the same brand of cigarettes. It has been said by some that we are so alike that it creeps people out. I have been there for her through a lot of really ruff patches in her life, and I always felt like she tried to be there for mine. She was the only person I invited when we adopted Kent, and she was there when Turtle was born. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

Her youngest graduated from H.S. this past June, no call....

I turned 35, no call.....

Then a very important event came up that we were to attend together came and went last week, no Call.... I was left sitting here, she had the tickets.

I have emailed her and gotten no response, so I am not sure where I stand. If I am one thing, I am loyal to a fault when it comes to my friends. I love them like family, and will usually give them anything that they may need, whenever they need it.

Money, help moving, a shoulder to cry on, help hiding a body (ok not that much help), but honestly, I will do anything for someone I consider a friend. Just ask, and if I have it, it is yours. I don't usually even ask for anything in return. All I really want is for them to treat me with respect. Give me a heads up if I somehow manage to piss you off, don't just blend into the crowd and be mad, it isn't fair. I am loud, brassy, and VERY opinionated. That has a tendancy to get my ass into hot water with those who are shall I say, Not So Much like me.

That is not the case here. She just stopped. Everything. The last time we were together it was good times!!! Infact she was the one I went to the event with in June. Since then I haven't heard one word from her, and that just isn't like her.

I am scared to call her, because I don't want to know that we aren't friends anymore, it would break my heart. OK, actually it would smash it into a million pieces.

I miss you. If you are reading this, I love you, and no matter what you need to tell me what to do.


Anonymous said...

You are a great frien. I hope she calls, apologizes and explains why she did what she did soon.
Poison Ivy

Samantha said...

That doesn't seem like her typical behavior, to just disappear like that! Maybe you call, fearful as you may be, in case there is something external going on.

I hope you can get this sorted out.

Lost in Space said...

It is so hard to say what could be going on. As hard as it can be, I would definitely give her a call to figure it all out. I have pulled away from most of my friends lately and it has much more to do with me being in a dark place than it does with anything they have said or done.

I hope you 2 can get back to old times really soon. (hugs)

Just Me. said...

Since IF happened to us, I have been very lonely without my friends. Few have understood or even tried to understand what was going on.

Like you, I am VERY opinionated and loud, so when IF hit us with a bam, I became such a bitch, especially whenever I'd hear assvice.

I'd say trying calling her again and I hope things turn out ok between you two.

Kristin said...

I sure hope everything works out. {{{Hugs}}}