November 2, 2006

14 Years.....

Well, it was 14 years ago tonight that My dream came true in that I started dating Clark!!! My life was finally looking up, and even though it has been full of ups and downs, I wouldn't trade it or him for anything. It is so hard to believe that there is just one person who can make me smile no matter what is going on in our lives, with just a look or a touch. He is really the most amazing man. I can't imagine ever being without him. I don't ever WANT to be without him. That wonderful man is my rock, he is my sanity when I lose it, he is my everything. I really hope that everyone out there finds someone who completes them as much as Clark completes me. He is my Hero, my Best Friend, and a fantastic Father to Kent. Gosh I don't know if I can imagine what or who I would be without him, and I am glad that I can't!!

So, Kent's yearly MRI for his tumor is next Monday, and as usual, I am getting worried. I hate this time of the year, because it will be yet another month after Monday's scan til we see the docs, but glad that it is only once a year that we have to do this. I remember feeling like this every six months, and I hated it. I worry about him so much, and just pray like hell that he will still be NED or in remission. I can't even imagine life any other way, nor do I want to. So say a little prayer for my boy, that we get good news.

I know that my last post was pretty off the wall, and I wrote what I felt. I am doing a little better, taking life a day at a time. I have made some very solid decisions about my life, and I will let you in on them in another post. I have been on the Birth Control pills for 2 weeks now, and I really freaking hate them.... I stay sick to my stomach most of the day. YUCK!!

On a good note, I have not had a cigarette since Saturday the 28th of October. That may not seem like much, but I am already off the patches to. It has been a little hard, and I have struggled, but no breakdowns yet, and I am really going to do it this time, I HAVE to!!! I have started eating better to, and instead of junk when I want to smoke I grab an apple or some grapes... NO CANDY!!! Gum has been helping to!!

I am gonna head off to bed, I haven't been sleeping really well, so every little bit I can get is needed!!!!

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