Slightly Overwhelmed...

Well, I had my follow-up on Friday, and for the most part all went well. The U/S showed one very big embryo with a yolk sac. We had a really hard time seeing Twinkie #2, but she said it is still there just that she didn't want to do a lot of poking around in there which was FINE with me!!! I have still been having a lot of pain and some spotting off and on, so I am now off work indefinitely. The job is pissed, but I told the lady I am not doing anything to risk losing these babies!! I told them that we were doing IVF when they hired me, and I cannot help it that the rest of the aides that work for them suck!! I love the couple that I work with, but they are very emotionally demanding, and draining, even though I only work 3 hours a day it feels like 10 by the time I leave!!! So they are upset to because they told me that they just KNEW that when I got pregnant I was going to abandon them... I had told them at the time that being pregnant wasn't going to stop me from working, and barring any unforeseen circumstances that I would be with them until I delivered. Well, since all that has changed now, they are making me feel very guilty, and I really hate that. I feel like shit about leaving, but then I am not going to lose the one thing in the world that I have tried so hard and so long for!! In a way it pisses me off that they would all put them selves before the lives of my children, and it seems rather selfish if you ask me!!

Thursday was a really bad day here in the Infertile house because one of our "babies" was sick, so I rushed her to the vet to find out that she had pancreatitus, and would have to stay over night. Now I raised this little one (OK not so little she weighs 110 pounds) since she was 24 hours old, and she has NEVER been away from home. Leaving her was very hard, but the vet said that we caught it before it got to bad which was a good thing. When he called me Friday morning he told me that she could come home later that afternoon. When we got there he told us that she was a very smart girl... when they put her in the kennel Thursday, within minutes, she had figured out how to open the door, and was trying to get out every time they weren't looking. When they left for the night they put some blankets in for her and decided to bungee cord the door shut just in case... Well, when they came in the next morning she had ripped out her IV, tore every blanket up, opened the door, and shoved the blanket through it trying to get out!!! He said it was the funniest thing that he has ever seen, and that she just gave him the biggest sad eyes and sigh when he walked in and saw her!!! He sent her home with us Friday afternoon on some special food ( 60 bucks all total) and 3 different medications.. poor baby!!!

Pregnancy issues:

Are we supposed to pee this freaking much?? OMG, I need a toilet connected to my ass!!! Just kidding, I know we pee this much, but it is getting pretty irritating running to the bathroom all the time!!!!

I have boobs!! I lost them after I had Gastric Bypass, but the girls are alive and well again!!!

OHSS when you are pregnant SUCKS!!!!! I have issues eating most anything because of the swelling, so I know I am starving, but eating just makes me miserable. The bloating is almost as bad as it was with my last cycle... My size 10's (which were way to big) are now to tight for my rapidly expanding belly, so I went and bought some Large men's Boxers from Wally World today, and I am now in heaven!!!!

Constipation has reached an interesting point... it is parked right in the middle of my colon, and REFUSES to move, even Colace and Metformin every day isn't helping much... I swear I already know what it is going to feel like to give birth!!!

Exhaustion has also hit a whole new level, I mean really, I need 2 to 3 naps a day just to make it to bed by 9 PM. Clark thinks I am yanking his chain that I am really that tired... LOL when I fell asleep at the computer yesterday afternoon he finally believed me!! BTW, drool can ruin a keyboard, not to mention the marks the keys will leave on your face!!!

Now mind you these aren't complaints, just observations from a first time pregnant person!! Good thing my SIL sent me Belly Laughs by Jenny McCarthy, I laughed so hard at the RE's office yesterday I got a few dirty looks!! But, if you haven't read it yet, you HAVE to get it, she is sooooo funny, Raw to the core, but funny!!

My next U/S is scheduled for the 4Th of June ( our 13Th wedding anniversary) and I am so looking forward to it. I will be 6 weeks 6 days, and am hoping to see those little hearts just fluttering away!! I am off to bed for the night, I hope that you all have a fantastic Memorial Day!!!

Cysts, Beta, and more......

Well, it has been a really ruff 2 days! Above is a picture of the Twinkies, that's right Twinkies!! You can't see the second one very well but it is just to the left of the one that is really visible... It was hiding!! They are right down from the GE symbyol at the top of the U/S field. So, I know I said I wasn't supposed to get my U/S until the 6th of June, but yesterday I started having a lot of pain on my left side with some spotting. The pain got so bad last night that I could barely sleep. Well, I saw my RE this AM when I went in for my Beta, and she was worried enough that she wanted to get a look at what was going on. Well, what she found was 3 ruptured cysts on my left ovary with blood clots in them, something odd at the end of my left tube that she isn't sure of, and several more cysts on both ovaries that look like they might burst. She also found some free fluid behind my right ovary. So after all the looking that she did, she asked me if I wanted to peek at the baby, and I said sure... well that was when we saw the both of them all nestled up together!! It was amazing I have to tell you. She put me on bed rest to try to keep the cysts from bursting, and I have to go back in on Friday for another check to see how things are. If the cysts start to look bad they might have to aspirate them, because she said that to many of them busting can cause a miscarriage... well we don't want that to happen, so I am all for sucking them out!!! When they called this after noon my Beta was 3694, and the doubling time was 42.76 hours, which is good, and my lining is very thick. I cannot tell you how excited Clark and I are about the whole thing!!!

I am off to bed for the night, the guys are working on the porch all freaking day, so I can't sleep, and my Fetal Alarm Clock gets me up every morning at 4-4:30...

Wow, I am gonna have twins... how cool is that?????

Tagged...

And I didn't even know it until today... can you tell I have been preoccupied??!! Samantha at http://southern-infertility.blogspot.com/ Tagged me last week, and of course I have been so self absorbed... so here it goes...

I Am

I am very blunt and to the point.
I am very much in Love with my Clark!!
I am a very sensitive person, even though due to the bluntness sometimes it doesn't show!!
I am a great doggie mom, I would have 20 dogs if I could.
I am a really good friend.
I am relieved to finally be pregnant.
I am best friends with my mom.
I am a good mom to Kent.
I am a very open person.
I am very accepting and understanding of others differences.
I am very happy with my life just the way it is.
I am the Queen of my Double Wide!! :o)
I am very Lucky to have all the people in my life that I do... including all my blog friends!!!

OK that has to be it, I am exhausted and need to get to bed...I will let everyone know how Beta is on Wednesday!!

You have got to be kidding????

OK, I know 2 posts in one day, but I just got the strangest call from my RE. She asked how I was feeling, and I told her bloated, and having some pretty strong pelvic pressure. Then she tells me that the other blood work that they pulled today indicated that I had OHSS... huh??? WTF??? She said that I may have actually had OHSS, but because it wasn't as bad as the first time, I didn't even notice, but now that HCG is running rampant in my system then it is showing up.... YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME???!!! So she told me to get on the scale, and sure enough since Tuesday I have gained almost 10 pounds... You know I asked the Fellow when I was at the clinic this morning if you could get OHSS after the fact, and he said no... guess he missed that class..... So now I have to go Monday so they can check my hemitacrit, to make sure all is well.

Just call me Mrs. Murphy!!!!

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Well, the doc just called about an hour ago with my beta, and I was stunned beyond belief....


528


He said that it was a very good solid number, and even though it could go either way, he highly suspects twins at this point!!! Clark and I are just in shock, I mean I was pretty sure I was pregnant, but two??? Wow, that is a lot to think about!!!

My next Beta will be this coming Wednesday, with an u/s to follow two weeks later, I just pray to the heavens that all will be OK, and that I will get to have this baby/babies!! Good grief I can't even hardly think of anything to say......

Amazing...

Ok, I know it is a little early to add the Widget, but I couldn't help it!! I need some positive reaffirmation!!!! I took the remaining tests this AM, and they came back so dark that I am sure this is the real thing!! The spotting was still there, but less yesterday, so the doc told me to just stay home and take it easy until tomorrow when I come in for my Beta. I am so totally stunned, thrilled, and scared out of my mind that I don't even know what to think.... for 14 and a half years this is all I have wanted, and now that I seem to have it I am rocked with fear... please tell me this is normal!!!!

WOW, I just may get to do this!!!!!

I will post my Beta results as soon as I get them tomorrow!!!! If I make it that long!!!!!!!!

Tripping out!!!!!!

Well, I decided to go to Walmart this morning after another faint freaking line, and I got a First Responce and an Equate. Well I can say that those 2 tests were positive as they could get!!! So I was really stunned, I didn't expect it to be positive right off the bat but it was!!!

So I call the clinic to see if I can get my beta, and they told me NO... can you believe that?? She told me I had to wait until Friday. Ok fine whatever!! So not even 2 hours later I am back on the phone because I went to the bathroom, and there was some blood when I wiped, so I was freaking out. They called me back and said not to stress out that it was probably implantion spotting and that I would still have to wait!! UGH are they kidding me!!! So I am going to freak the hell out for the next 3 days!!! Good grief!! So here I sit just trying to keep my mind in one piece!!

Trying to stay Positive....

I know it has been forever, but last week was so flipping busy that I have just now had a chance to get a few minutes to sit and let you know how things are going. I went back to work Monday, had a lot of cleaning to do, along with trying to keep from moving to fast, the cramps were killing me. I will confess that I have been testing every morning with Doll*r Tr*e tests, and have not been happy with them at all!! The first few, I know I got evap lines, but the last one this AM I could actually see before the 10 minutes had come, so I don't know what in the hell to think. I was hoping that the first few had been right, and that they would keep getting darker, but we have been on the faint line road for 4 days now, and there doesn't seem to be any chance of them getting darker. I am not supposed to do my Beta until Friday, and I may just crack before then!! Clark was mad when he found out I was taking them at all, he asked me why I like to torture myself, because we both know how I get, but seriously, it is like a train wreck, how can you not look???? You look hoping that someone made it out alive, and that is just what I am doing and hoping for!! I am not feeling it though, I guess it is because I know that any symptoms that I am having are just the Prom*trium at work, and not necessarily an embryo snuggling in. As of this morning, Mothers Day no less, I am only 9dp3dt, but I would have thought I would have seen some sign of them being alive in there by now..... Maybe, Maybe Not.

I spent the last two days of this past week in teenager hell. I went on the trip that I mentioned before with Kent and the kids in Beta Club. OMG I cannot remember being that off the wall as a teen, but then this is a different time. We spent the first half of Thursday in the bus, went to the National aquarium in Baltimore, and then attended an Orioles game that night. When we got to the hotel, and I was very unimpressed with the fact that we were not put in to a handicap room, as we should have been, but we made due. Friday it was up really early again, and off to Washington D.C. where we hit Arlington National cemetery, a mall downtown for lunch, toured Capitol Building, and did a drive by of a few sites then off to home. I was very upset most of Friday because the teacher who was in charge kept complaining that I was moving to slow, and that I wasn't keeping track of Kent very well. HA!!!!!! I wasn't going to walk fast only a week after transfer, it was hot, and I swore to Kent that I would let him enjoy this trip with his friends without being in his face all damn day. I finally had words with her when we stopped for dinner because I was frankly tired of her mouth. I had gotten pretty pissed off at the Capitol Building because I dropped my glasses and broke them, and I was thinking that Clark was going to have to come to the school get us. So by the time she asked me what my problem was when we stopped for dinner, I was through, and I gave her a right royal piece of my mind. I ended up calling Clark and telling him that I was gonna be OK to drive home and that he should just head to bed, because frankly I thought that he was going to beat her ass for being so damn insensitive. That is how you know your husband loves you ladies... When he is willing to beat the hell out of an old lady who offends you!!! :o)

Saturday I woke up in so much pain from all the walking that we did the day before... I had blisters on my feet, and my calves felt like they were in a constant cramp... UGH!! I needed to get my glasses fixed though, so I took Kent and 2 of his friends to the mall, got my glasses fixed there, bought a new pair of Nike walking shoes, a really cute pair of sandals, and left the boys there. Went to Targ*t for toilet paper, came home and fell into bed!!! Kent got home late last night, and I was a little irritated because they were supposed to have been home by 6... Oh well.

This morning so far has been nice. Kent got me the Birth Stone Baby that I wanted with his birthstone in it, and Clark got me a Yanke* Candle. They both also got me really cute cards!!! The funny thing about what Kent got me is that I have wanted one every since we adopted him in 2005, and this time I told both of the boys that I left him at the mall with what to tell him to get me, so I already knew what it was, but it was special just the same!! Sure beats the John Deere Oil Filters I got last year!!!

So that is where I stand right now, trying to stay positive, and despite all the crap that went on over the trip, I had fun. I am just praying that my legs will stop hurting by tomorrow so I can go to work!!

PUPO!!!!!!!

Whew!!! Well I am so glad that is over!! Transfer went great!!! It was really awesome this time as Clark got to go in with me!! When the RE got there he came into the room and said "You ready to get Pregnant??" I told him of course I was!! He said that we had a 7 cell and a 6 cell that were the best of the 6. I was a little disappointed because I expected them to be a little better, but oh well. When we got in the room, and they got me all ready, they told me to look up at this TV screen that was hanging on the wall, and there before my eyes appeared 2 perfect little embryo's!! That was so amazing!! I actually cried!! The guy from the lab came out and pointed at the bottom one and said that is your 7 cell, and the top one is your 8 cell... uh I thought that we had a 7 and a 6, but he said that the 6 cell had divided 2 more times since 7am, and it was only 8:20, so that I am sure is going to be a keeper!!! So they transferred them, and we got the all clear... stayed on my back for an hour, and came home where I have been resting since we got here. My RE wants me inactive for 3 days just in case I start to show signs of OHSS, which at this point I haven't, but you never know!!

Clark held my hand through the whole thing!! It was just so amazing I cannot begin to tell you!! We gave them nicknames again this time... Starsky and Hutch!!! Clark wanted Mork and Mindy, but that seemed just a little goofy to me... so my mom said well then are you hoping for both to be boys, and I said no, but Starsky and Hutch were fighters, and that is what I want these 2 little ones to be!!!

Well off to enjoy some more back breaking bed rest!! Thanks for all the well wishes, they mean the world to me!!!

(Oh yeah, and for those who don't know, PUPO means Pregnant Until Proven Otherwise!!!)

Long two days....

Well, I am finally feeling up to writing again. Boy the drugs that they gave me this time did a number on my system!!! I have literally been sleeping almost the last 36 hours since retrieval!! Everything went really good yesterday. We got there right on time, and got ready right away. The whole thing was nicer due to the fact that my RE's office now has their own IVF suite!! Clark was with me, and we had a lot of fun before the big event, we were teasing with the nurses and everything!! At one point we overheard the guy from the andrology lab come get the husband in the room next to us, and when he told him that he was there for his contribution, the guy had no idea what he was talking about!! The poor guy from the lab lowered his voice and said... "you know your sperm." Clark and I got a little giggle out of that!! So, when the guy came back for Clark and told him that he was there for his contribution, Clark stood up pulled out his wallet, and asked the guy if 5 bucks was good enough!! We all laughed at that one!! Clark is to funny!! He really likes to see people laugh and to break the ice when there is a cute way to do it!!

The only really bad thing that happened was when the anesthesiologist came in to see me, and was looking in my mouth, you know the say ahhh and all that crap, well she says hey what is wrong with that tooth, and shoved her fingers in my mouth, busting up the corner of my lips!! To top if off, she didn't have any gloves on either!!! I was so pissed, I told her that she hurt me, and she just said well I can't have your teeth falling out on me... Uh ok, it is a spot on the front of my tooth where I have a cavity and need to have a filling, not like it is going to make the whole tooth fall out!!!

The retrieval went really well, and I woke up right away after. Before we left they told me that we got 29 eggs!!! Wow!!! I also asked her what my E2 level had been on Monday, and the nurse told me 5675!! That freaked me out a little because of the whole OHSS thing, but she told me that due to the fact that it shot up after the Overad*l injection, I should avoid the OHSS beast this time!! I really hope so!! The rest of the day I just cat napped off an on, and went to bed early because the pain meds made me pretty goofy!!

This morning I got the fert report, of the 29, 14 were mature, they ICSI'd all 14, and as of 8 AM we had 6 beautiful embies who were dividing nicely!!! The other 8 were "thinking" about it. She said they had fertilized, but weren't moving very fast yet. So all in all, I am a little disheartened. I was shocked that more of them weren't mature since I went so long on meds this time, and I guess a little upset that the fert rate wasn't higher then it was with the ICSI, but I am trying with everything that I have to stay positive!!

I stayed home from work today because I just wasn't feeling 100%, I am still very tired, and Clark and I think that it has to be the drugs that they gave me... I have to admit it was nice to just have the house all to myself for lots of quiet time!!!

I will be having my transfer at 7 AM on Friday morning, so hopefully everything will go well, and in just 2 days I will have 2 little embies nestled in for the long haul!! I am gonna go to bed, I am still almost to tired to type!!!