The Punches just keep coming....

Ok so here it goes...... The weekend: Friday afternoon while we were waiting for Clark to get home, I got an email from Cindy (my dear friend), and it was full of Pictures of Jacob throughout his short little life... I downloaded them to my PrintShop, and was looking at them when Kent came out of his room... I asked him if he wanted to see them since he knew Jacob, Cindy, and Bill, and he said yeah... While we were looking through the pics, he said to me "It must be hard looking at pictures of someone else's baby when you don't have any of your own." At first I totally misunderstood his statement, and asked him if he meant me looking at them, and if he did then I didn't have trouble because all of the pictures that I get from you all are pictures of your "Miracles." When I turned to ask him if he understood what I meant he had these huge tears rolling down his cheeks.... I said "Aww hunny what is that all about?", and he said to me "I didn't mean you, I meant me, I have NO Pictures of me when I was a Baby." I got it, and my poor heart just broke for this tuff little man sitting there with tears running down his face!! The pain that poor boy has over a simple little act of families all over the planet. He has one very poor photo of him as a toddler and that is it until he came into foster care!! I knew that he had said that he was upset that he didn't have photo's in the past, but to see the hurt on his face that he has nothing to show from those years, just BROKE MY HEART!! The sad thing is that there are no pictures that I know of at all. I know that his mom was asked a few years ago if she had some photos that DSS could copy for the kids, and she said that through the years she had lost them all. How freaking sad is that??? I don't know what to do to fix this for him, and that is the part that is killing me... I can fix almost everything else, but this.... UGH!!! Other then that it was a quiet weekend, and I totally decided to do a scrapbook for Kent and try to get what photos I can... so while doing some research looking for his Bio G-ma, I found out that one of my very first and favorite patients had passed away on the 21st of March. I was heart broken, I thought about her and her family all the time, and even called her brother in AZ often to see how she was doing. I found out where the funeral was, and was going to go, but the more I thought about how angry her daughter was with me when I left them .... When we got Kent I had to stop working for them... That I thought it was better not to go just to avoid making a scene. I am so very sad though. Monday: I finally got to talk with my adoption worker, and she explained a lot of things to me, so now I know why our adoption hasn't been closed here, it is still official, but they just haven't closed it out here because of the new wheelchair we are waiting for, and the Medicaid has to stay open there for us to get it. So until that happens then we will still be open here... I did however ask her if they were still required to visit Kent quarterly, and she said yes that it was Interstate Compact Law that they see him every 3 months until our adoption is closed. Then she tells me about how she had the oddest conversation with the Interstate worker that I talked to, after 1 phone conversation of like 15 minutes, 2 emails, the last time she called the woman, the lady had NO CLUE who my worker was or who she was calling about... so after a refresher, the lady tells my worker... "The next time you call me just tell me that you are calling about the WHEELCHAIR KID FROM VIRGINIA!!! @@ @@ I want to call her so bad, HOW DARE she refer to my child as the wheelchair kid from VA??? He has a damn name... so that is going in my letter to my congressman along with her freaking name!! How WRONG is that??? I had to call Clark after I hung up with my worker because I was gonna call her and chew her ass.... Some people have no couth, and she works for DSS for crying out loud!!! UGH I spent the rest of the day just pissed off because of that stupid comment. Tuesday: I got a letter late yesterday from DSS about a class that they are offering, so I called the worker listed on the sheet and left a message... See last week in my cleaning frenzy, I came across my Foster Care license, and noticed that it expires the 31st of this month.. Ut Oh... so I also left that in the message to her. Not sure why I haven't gotten the paperwork to renew yet, but I have a SNEAKING feeling that it has a lot to do with just one caseworker. I have decided to write a letter to the director of DSS to bring this to his attention, because I don't think it was just a little over site if you catch my drift!! I almost forgot.. I got a call from the wheelchair people Friday, and he told me it will be the middle of April before the chair will be ready.. UGH, I don't know why in the hell it takes MONTHS for this stuff to get done... we started all this crap on the 15th of November for crying out loud!! Kent's old chair is just so raggedy it isn't even funny... hell the thing has been with him since he was 6... so it is more then time for a new one... I guess we will order some new tires for it, and keep it as a spare since the new one he is getting doesn't fold up. I wrote and sent my letter to my congressman today about all the crap that I have been trying to get done with DSS here, and then about the comment that the Interstate worker said, and I hear he really takes stuff like that serious, so I am hoping that he can help me... I only put in the part about the Interstate Compact, and the fact that they should have been here 3 times that they missed, and the wheelchair comment. I hope that he can help me out. I have heard just horrible things from teachers here about DSS and the lack of concern for the kids in this county that it just makes me sick. How these people get away with this crap is beyond me... hmm maybe I need a new mission!!! Wednesday: This gets even more interesting everyday.... I finally got a call back from the worker in charge of that class I called about on Monday... well I told her there is no point in me coming if I am not going to be a foster parent after the 31st, and she was like uhhhh yeah I need you to talk to another worker about this whole thing... so she transfers me to that worker ( I know him well, and don't like him as it is) and this is what he had to say.... They screwed up, and should have never renewed our license 2 years ago, and that is the reason that they wouldn't place kids with us... ahhh but no one ever flipping told me!! So to make a long story short, we haven't been LEGALLY LICENSED Foster Parents for 2 freaking years, because we moved, and they had no legal right to license us again. I tell you what I am so upset and confused as to how this happened. We don't have the time to take the classes here because they have them starting at 6 PM, and Clark doesn't get home til 5:30 or later, and they don't have a Saturday class, not to mention the fact that they don't allow you to bring kids, and I am NOT leaving Kent home alone that late at night. UGH, I feel like I was literally just blown out of the water!! So I guess my foster parent days are over for a long time.... :o( I feel like they have stolen a part of my identity to tell you the truth, Clark doesn't see it that way, and now he is worried about the legal ramifications it could have, but I have already spoken to an attorney weeks ago, and he said that we have a case if push comes to shove. But I decided to send the 3 page letter I had written to the director anyway, and see what happens. I can play stupid just as well as they can.....Thursday: Well, Kent had an appointment with his Psych today, so we went to that, and then I drug him to Michael's and he helped me pick out all the stuff for HIS scrapbook!!! We had a ball, I love that freaking store... I spent $131.00, and I know Clark is gonna trip, but it is worth it to me to make this Memory Book for him!! After that I got us some lunch, and wouldn't you know it I had to wait almost 10 minutes for french fries, so I was late to my psych appointment, It went well. I mailed the letters to the director and asst director while I was out so they would get them faster, and now I will sit back and see. Then we got my scripts, and came home. It was really a long day, and I was sooo beat by 8 that I couldn't keep my eyes open. So, here I am and it is Friday morning, wonder what this day will hold?? I have been having some spotting all week long, and I don't know why really, but today is only CD 25, so I have no idea what those little ovaries are up to down there, I have still been having all kinds of twinges and pains in both of them, so i guess I am gonna have to break down and go see the PCP to see if she can find anything wrong with them. She will prolly tell me to see my GYN... don't have one, so gonna have to do that... crap I guess this day is gonna be long after all. I wanted to get started on the Book today to, but Kent is out of school today, so it is gonna have to wait... I went through all of our photos, and pulled tons out to put in it, I guess I am just hoping this will in some way make him feel so much better. So, off I go to the wonderful life I have to run......