March 24, 2006

It's been a LONG week.....

Ugh, I had a long frustrating week this week so I am days late getting here.... day by day blow by blow coming right up.....Monday: I went to see my psychiatrist and I told him that splitting my meds was driving me nuts... when I took the AM dose, it made me sooo tired for like 5 hours, so he switched me to all of them at night.. we will see how this works... I spent the rest of the day cleaning, and running crap to the dump... good Lord I didn't realize 3 people could have so much JUNK!!! Tuesday: I got out of the house early this AM. Went up to VA, hit PetSmart for dog food and hermit crab stuff, hit the PO to mail a special box, and then to Walmart for some stuff I need to finish organizing my "craft" room. I got pretty pissed at WalMart because the checker was slow as molasses and made me late for my dr appointment, and I didn't even have that much... she literally counted every bin I had and rang them up separately!! I had 15 of them... uh hello scan one, and then hit repeat... nope she had to do each one of them!! UGH My therapy visit was good, we talked a lot about the Infertility issues that I have, and the upcoming cycles that we will be doing, talked about Kent, and some other things. I like her she seems like a really nice lady!! She brought a few things to my attention that I am gonna have to really think about until I see her the next time. After that appointment, I came home and hit the house again!! Boy is my hunny gonna be proud!!! Wednesday: Today was a DOWN day... I cannot tell you how hard it is for me right now to have soooo many people around me getting pregnant... quite a few of them in the last week and a half have been "oops" pregnancies. Not that I begrudge any of them don't get me wrong, it is just so very hard to watch everyone get the one thing that I want so badly, and get it so seemingly easy. It has been really eating at me... I think it has a lot ot do with my impending birthday, and the fact that I really thought that I would be done having kids already. Just goes to show how far off center your childhood dreams can be!! May is going to be a pretty hard month because I have 3 friends due then, one of them is having her miracle baby though, so I am sooo happy for her, happy for all of them, but there is a little green man on my shoulder, and he isn't a leprechaun!! I hate that I am jealous, but I guess it is normal. I just keep praying everyday that I will be able to thump that little green man right off my shoulder SOON!! I wasn't feeling good this afternoon, my ovaries have really been bothering me the last 2 months, and I am not sure what is going on, all I know is that it is both of them at the same time, and it gets pretty painful. The only way that I can get comfy is to sit down or lay all curled up. Advil hasn't been working, and on top of it all when they start doing this I get horrible lower back pain, so I am gonna have to ask my PCP about this. I was surprised to feel them hurting because last week there was nothing there on either one when Dr. B did the ultrasound at my work up visit... Hmmmm. Kent had a 'tude tonight and I was soooo not in the mood so he kinda got his head bitten off when he copped that tude over dinner... UGH I will have to warn him ahead of time of the risk to his life when I do not feel well!! Thursday: Nother one of those "bad" days, feeling sorry for myself, but I got up and cleaned all day again... drawers and cabinets were the biggies today... the house is getting a total spring cleaning because I am sick of looking at it!! It is freaking the dogs out I think though cuz they just keep looking at me like "What got into you!!" Course they are most of the reason I have to vacumme almost everyday!! SLOBS!! LOL I love them though. At least their daddy will be home tomorrow, and they can stare at him!! My tummy has been off today to so that has slowed me down a little to if you catch my drift!! But for the most part I have gotten most of the stuff done that I wanted to before Clark came home.... He thinks he's is just gonna drive right through, so I will be seeing him late Friday night. My adoption worker finally returned my call this afternoon, but I was taking a nap (go figure), and Kent couldn't find the phone (go figure) so she had to leave a message... Hmm I tell you people just DO NOT LISTEN TO ME when I talk... she said that she had talked to the Interstate worker, and they seem to think that I am only worried about medicaid, when that wasn't what I was talking about at all.... What part of I want my ADOPTION closed out with the county and state do they not freaking get???? I am not worried about the medicaid as Kent is on our insurance, so that isn't it. I have had issues with the IRS, can't file my taxes yet, the Social Security Admin. because his name hasn't been changed. It is driving me freaking NUTS, and I literally broke it down for the interstate worker... but alas no one listens!! I cannot believe these people have degree's sometimes!! UGH!!! So now that I have gotten some of that frustration out, today isn't looking to good!! It is raining, so the weather makes for a dark mood with me... I am going to try to get some things done on the phone today, and finish the cleaning that I need to.... I already got off to a bad start though... Blew making coffee this AM... I set it all up last night and went to bed only to wake up to it flowing all over the counter grinds and all.... I forgot to put the pot back after I filled the reservoir!! UGH. Boy that was a freaking mess!! Lastly....... Happy Birthday in Heaven Jacob!!! I miss you little man, and I pray that you are having so much fun with your brothers up there!! Let your mommy know you are there today, because I know she misses you terribly!! I wish you were still here making her everyday a joy, but I know that you are whole up there with the Big Guy. So, look over your mommy, daddy, and big brother today!! I love you!!!

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