Ahhh Haaa...

I know a lot of you don't read much here anymore, and frankly I haven't had much to post. I had a friend in town, Keith was in GA, and I have had a VERY bad night... Hence the 2 glasses of wine I haves already consumed. The visit was great it was nice seeing my friend and her daughter. She taught Lauryn so many phrases wheelie she was here it was hysterical!!! Rex and I decided to bump head., So I am having drunken issues typing I will just share some pics of it with you.... It hurts like a mother!!!


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Meet Rex, the Wonder Horse!!

So this is my new Man... Rex. The vet was out yesterday and said over all he looks good, we just need to get him fattened back up. He got all his shots and a wormer. The vet said that he was really impressed with his personality for an Appaloosa, and an appaloosa stud at that. I am working with the local rehaber, and have him on a great feed schedule, not to mention letting him out to graze twice a day. He has gotten a bit uppity with me a few times, but I have it down to two things... one there is a mare at the barn in heat, and two he is really freaking afraid he is going to keep starving!! He has started letting me brush his winter coat out, and actually stood still for it!! He is really going to be an amazing guy once we get him all healthy again, and I am looking forward to seeing him in all his glory!!! Enjoy!!

The Last Two Weeks In Bullets....

Things have been CRAZY around here the last little bit, so I haven't had time to blog. There have been some pretty serious things that have happened, and I had a LONG post about it all that got eaten, but, since I am the only one here with Lauryn for the next ten days it will have to be bullets!!!

• 3/6 - I got a call from ReHab that Kent had been in a fight and had to be taken to get stitches in the back of his head. He was being teased but he was the aggressor, and didn't win.

• 3/7 - I went to visit Kent to take his GED books to him, and it ended with him being mad at me because I tried to get him to talk about his part in the incident the night before. He didn't see that he had done anything wrong.

• 3-8 Keith got told that he had to be in GA for training the 22nd for 2 weeks. This happens every 2 years, but he was in a class locally until the teacher cancelled.

• 3/8-3/12 - The few days here was filled with doc appointments, and trying to get things squared away for Keith to leave.

• 3/12 - Kent's team meeting was in the afternoon, and all was going well until we began discussing the fight. He promptly lost his shit when I suggested that he had not in fact worked through his anger/aggression issues as he was trying to tell the docs that he had. The incident had been reported to the head doc as rough horseplay. That bothered me because that is not what I was told happened. So Kent got pissed cussed me out, called me names, and ended up being escorted from the room. I informed the doctors that I was not going to tolerate anymore of these phone calls where I was going to be verbally abused anymore. Needless to say I was pretty pissed of about the whole thing. I told them to tell him not to bother calling me until he got over his crap.

• 3/14-3/18 - I didn't speak to Kent all week because frankly I didn't want to hear it anymore, not to mention we were still very busy trying to get stuff done around the house and taking care of business that needed to be handled.

• 3/19 - We got up and were just puttering around the house when the phone rings, it was the Rehab, I almost didn't answer it, but I figured it probably wasn't Kent that early in the morning. Come to find out I was right. I answer the phone to get informed that Kent has been transported to Big City hospital because the night nurse had over dosed his morning meds, and he was having breathing and pulse issues. I swear people I cannot make this shit up!! I freaked out and started screaming at the nurse asking her what in the hell happened, and she told me that someone would call me with more info and then basically hung up. I promptly called the main hospital and found out that he had been taken to the ER to be monitored after they gave him a Narcan injection to reverse the OD. I called Big City, and they told me that he was in the ER, and that the doctors hadn't seen him but they would be keeping him for at least 5 hours, and to call back in a few hours to check on him.... WTF??!! Long story short he went back to Rehab after 7 hours on the monitors and is doing fine now, but Keith and I have been discussing how to deal with this.

• 3/19 - I live next to a barn that keeps horses. Most of the horses are pasture fed, and for the most part healthy. There is a male there though who has all my heart, and they have been starving him. They had him in a pen alone because all of the other horses are females, and they can't have him knocking anymore of them up, he already got his own mother, but they don't feed him or the girls on a regular basis. The girls have the grass, but all he had was dirt. We actually started going out every other day and taking him hay and water, not to mention picking grass for him. That morning I had gone to look on him and he just didn't look right, and one of the older girls was down in the pasture. I came home crying and told Keith that we had to do something. He told me to call and ask them if they would sell us the horse. I was stunned, he told me just 2 years ago there was not a chance in hell that I was ever going to get a horse. Well I called them, asked and they told me that yes they would sell him to us, and in fact had talked about calling us to see if we wanted to buy him since we had been taking such good care of him. So a few hundred dollars later, I am now the owner of a rescue horse who needs a lot of work. GAH!! He is very underweight and needs a lot of one on one time, but all that matters to me is that he is going to live.

• 3/21 - Keith left to go out of town, and the 10 days began.

• 3/22 - I am doing ok with the girl, the horse and the house. The vet is coming out to see Horse tomorrow to give him his shots and to maybe Geld (Neuter) him. I had to get 3 bags of special feed to start getting him fattened up. I am going to be working with a local rehaber to get him back on track.

So that has been my last 2 weeks in review... turned out longer then I thought it was, but I wanted you all to know that I was still here just busy with things. Hugs to all you out there!! Have a great week!!

My Favorite Hallmark Reject ever.....

I LOVE this card,it just screams me!!!

Real Post coming soon I swear,

New meds are kikcikng my ass!!!

Your Monday Smile....

Have a great Monday!!!!

Post to come later today....

You know you want one!!!!!!!

I know I do!!!!!! If you help me, you also have a chance to win something. No, I'm not giving something away. Susan over at She's Becoming DoughMessTic is giving away not one but two KitchenAid Mixers.

The only thing you have to do to enter is blog, tweet, or facebook the giveaway and then go back and comment only ONCE that you did so (you do have to follow her on twitter or be a facebook fan).

If you go enter, please, please, puh-leeeeeeeeeeze say I sent you. If you say I sent you and you win, then we both win.So, go read the giveaway post...Enter the giveaway and make sure you say I sent you.

Thanks Kristen!!!

Thinking it over....

I know that most of you will agree that Anon is out of line, and I am right there with you!! I cannot thank you all enough for your support, as it makes me fell like even though you aren't here with me, you are "virtually" there for me, and it helps to know that I have an "army" of friends out there who get it!! Wishing 4 One asked me in her last comment if I thought this was someone I know IRL, and unfortunately I think it might be.

When I went "public" with my blog in January, I knew that I was putting myself out there. I mean our names are on here now and used in most every post that I make. Lauryn's name is not spelled in the normal way, so if searched, in combination with my name and Keith's name, I am sure it would bring you right here. Ok, I just googled it and yeah you can find me like that, so nuff said. I have a feeling that I do know who it is, and frankly if it is who I suspect, I am very heartbroken.

On the other hand I had been considering breaking off this friendship for about 2 months because it has just become toxic. This person makes a point of telling me just how she feels about the way that we are handling the Kent situation, and it is along the lines of the comments that Anon has made. She makes me feel badly about the parenting choices I make with regards to both of my children, and some of them have been downright rude, leaving me in tears. I know that no one is a perfect parent, and I never have claimed to be... I am learning everyday. This person however does not seem to want to acknowledge that no one has all the answers when it comes to raising children, especially special needs kids who have physical issues, not to mention mental issues.

There are also other things that she throws in my face, but the ones that hurt the most are the ones judging my parenting skills, so I will leave it at that.

Kent has a lot of issues from his past, from before he even came to live with us, that have caused him anger and frustration, along with a severe fear of abandonment. This actually happens a lot when children are removed from bio-families and placed into foster care, not to mention the things that happened to him before he was taken away. He also has to deal with the fact that the neglect that his family put him through is partly if not wholly to blame for his paralysis. Trust me on this one, it really could have been avoided if they would have just paid attention at the time. I think this is the big reason that he was so scared to go to the hospital and get help, he figured that we were just going to drop him off and run. I don't think he sees that as the case now, because we have been to visit, and we participate in family therapy every week. We have every intention of letting Kent come home once he has reached a level where he can control and manage his anger appropriately, and has proven that he is ready and willing to be more independent. He is 18 now and needs to take on life just like any other young adult. He was making no movement in the general direction of independence, in fact it was just the opposite, he was becoming more and more dependant on us for everything.

I have come to the conclusion that people are going to judge me no matter what I do or say, and that is ok because everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am not going to apologize or feel guilty for the things that I have done in regards to Kent because I think that what we have done thus far is exactly what we and he needed. I love my son with all my heart, and even though we don't share DNA, we do have a very special bond that will be with us for the rest of our lives.

People will come and go in our lives, but the one thing that remains unwavering is my love for my son and my daughter.

It just keeps getting better.....

The Stalker left this comment to my last post.....

"seeing as how you know me IRL and all... got me all figured out don't ya??!!" You're proving your retard status.
Oh see now that isn't very nice.... not PC either.



I never claimed to "know you IRL".
Hey light bulb, that was sarcasm... look it up.



I could give less of a shit about you.
Oh less of a shit huh?? Well that is a good thing seeing as how shit stinks. Can I rate at least a fart though?? It is kinda cold here in NC, so the hot air would do me some good!



I think you're a whiney, self-centered bitch of a mother who pushes her son off on society rather than taking care of the issues like a real mom would.
Whiney and self centered?? Oh sweetie I think not. I am just about the furthest thing from self centered you will find, but then you are just lashing out trying to hurt my feelings... I get it, it is OK. I have not pushed my son off on society as you so kindly put it. Do you feel that way because Medicaid is paying for his hospital stay?? If that is what you are referring to, you need to know that for the last 4 years I have eaten all of this child's medical expenses, getting no help from anyone but our sorry ass insurance. So yeah I got medicaid to pay for him, he is eligible for it because he is permanently disabled, what's your point?? Oh, and are you also telling me a real mom would let her paralyzed son die because he refused to take care of himself to the point that he was causing irreparable damage to his internal organs?? Maybe you would have me wiping his ass for the rest of his life even though he is fully capable of doing it himself?? I will make sure to alert my friends that they are doing it all wrong.



Least I didn't have to pay to get knocked up with my kids.
Is that supposed to hurt my feelings?? Hate to break it to you, didn't work. I think that people who work hard for something tend to appreciate it more then say... you maybe.


You may want to invest in a grammar/spell check rather than any more kids so that it will catch your fuck ups rather than creating more.
Wow, do you really feel that strongly about grammar and spelling?? Don't you worry your pretty little head what I spend my money on, it is of no consequence to you.

I had no idea that one person could be as emotionally stunted as you seem to be. Do me a favor, stop coming here, and I will stop insulting your sensitive little soul. You have not hurt my feelings with your drivel at all, in fact all I feel for you is sorry. Sorry that you have to troll blogs, especially Infertility Blogs, and lash out at people. I mean get real, if you have that much time on your hands you should do something with it. Hey I have an idea, why don't you spend it with those kids you didn't have to pay to get?? You might as well focus on them instead of me, because I know I don't love you as much as they do.

I have a Hater!!!!

He He.......

I have always wanted me ones of those Haters, and I finally got me one!!!

Anon FuckTard from a few posts ago came slumming again. Apparently someone has a real hard on for me... and you know being a woman and all, I LOVE hard on's!!! (even though they can't well you know, knock me up!)

Apparently I am now dumb, as this little person uses a proxy to hide their online jackass trolling identity. Don't you just feel special that you have to do that?? Or even more special that you know how?? You may have gotten me on the proxy thing, maybe not, but what does it say about you that you do it in the first place?? Real Mature!!

I do suck at some things, so touche on that one smarty pants!! I have one thing that I suck at amazingly.... Unfortunately you will never get the opportunity to find out what it is! :o)

Don't you have anything better then I am dumb and I suck, because to be honest with you my 18 year old tosses better insults then you do! Come on now, get a little more creative for my sake, because I love to hear just what YOU think about me... seeing as how you know me IRL and all... got me all figured out don't ya??!!

I think that you came back and saw all the comments that were left actually supporting me, and it got your little ire up didn't it?? Poor baby, I guess you thought that people might actually agree with you.... not likely. See some people get it, you know that being a parent is full of struggles, and the fact that sometimes you have to do things that you didn't think you would ever have to, to help your children.

While my life is full of things that I wish I could change, this is not one of them. My son is where he needs to be, and I will continue to fight the battle to keep him pointed in the right direction.

I did notice that you had nothing to say about the actual substance of my response to you.... could it be because I am right, and that you haven't walked in my shoes?? You know the ones that have adopted and raised a special needs child, only to watch him fall apart right in front of your eyes?

The ones I was wearing the day I left him at the hospital, and cried most of the way home. Not tears of Guilt, but of relief because I knew that he was finally going to get the help I had been fighting to get him for years??

The shoes I put on every morning when I get up so that I can continue to be strong for him, and my daughter. I don't think that you could wear them because frankly they would swallow your whole body in just one heel.

So, do me a favor and get over yourself, just because you think that your parents were horrible, not saying they weren't, not everyone who has to do what I have is a bad parent, and until you understand that, you will remain bitter and angry, and frankly that isn't good for your soul, not to mention your blood pressure.

Infertile MadWoman-Ology

Hey you! Yes, you and you and you and, especially you! Any of you reading this. You're tagged. After you've gotten to learn more about me than you ever wanted to know, take a turn and play the game. It's fun! Let others know a little more about yourself, repost this as your name followed by "ology."


FOODOLOGY:

What is your salad dressing of choice? Ranch, Ceaser, or a tasty Pico De Galo.
What is your favorite sit-down restaurant? Toyama's (Japanese)
What is your favorite fast food restaurant? Taco Bell
What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of? Salads
What are your pizza toppings of choice? Onions, mushrooms, green peppers, tomatoes, black olives, banana peppers, and ham.
How many televisions are in your house? 4
What color cell phone do you have? Red.

BIOLOGY:

Are you right-handed or left-handed? Right.
Have you ever had anything removed from your body? Nothing, Yet....
What is the last heavy item you lifted? a 50 pound bag of dog food
Have you ever been knocked unconscious? Nope
Have you ever fainted? Again, no.


BULLCRAPOLOGY:

If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die? Yes... It would give me a chance to prepare myself and my family.
If you could change your name, what would you change it to? I don't think I would
How many pairs of flip flops do you own? 5
Last person you talked to? My Mom

FAVORITOLOGY:

Season? Spring... I love to watch the world come back to life!!
Holiday? Thanksgiving.
Day of the week? Saturdays
Month? June and January
Color? Sage Green
Drink? Caffeine Free Diet Dr. Pepper or Coffee
Alcoholic? White Russian

CURRENTOLOGY:

Missing someone? Yes... everyday.
What are you listening to? The PlayList on my Blog, and the Turtle trying very hard to keep from sleeping, via the baby monitor.
What are you watching? Nothing.
Worrying about? What to do when Keith goes out of town in a few weeks.
What's the last movie you saw? Couple's Retreat... Laughed my ass off!!
Do you smile often? YES!!!
If you could change your eye color what would it be? A light Sky Blue
What's on your wish list for your birthday? A quiet night alone with my husband.
Can you do a chin-up? Yeah right... maybe if the bar was at nose level...
Does the future make you more nervous or excited? It honestly depends on the day.
Have you been in a car wreck? Yes.
Have you caused a car wreck? Not that I know of.
Do you have an accent? My mother swears I have southern accent, but I don't hear it.
Last time you cried? Yesterday when I got that asshat comment on my blog.
Plans tonight? Nothing, the rain is setting in, so it is home body night.
Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom? I know I have, and I fought my way back.
Name three things you bought yesterday? Tires, and dinner with Keith and Lauryn.
Have you met someone who changed your life? Yes, Keith and my kids.
For the better or worse? Better then I could have imagined.
How did you bring in the New Year? Watching the Ball drop with Keith.
Would you go back in time if you were given the chance? Yes, I would be there when my grandmother passed. I missed it and I will never forgive myself for it.
What songs do you sing in the shower? Uh why would I put my ears through that in a confined space??!!
Have you held hands with someone today? Yes, Lauryn.
Who was the last person you took a picture of? Lauryn.
Are most of the friends in your life new or old? Both.
Do you like pulpy orange juice? No.
Last time you ate peanut butter and jelly? Within the last 2 months I guess.
What were you doing at 12 a.m. last night? Reading blogs!!
What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up? Damn I really have to Pee!!!!!

Dear Anonymous Fu@kTard....

This comment was left on my blog this afternoon, and I am choosing to respond....


"You sound strikingly similar to my own parents and my parents always played the "we're doing our best" card when they were the crazy ones. Now people see through their bible thumping facade to the real, um, winners that they are. Maybe just deal with your child instead of pushing him off onto society like he's their "problem" (ironically, a word I refuse to use when speaking about a child). I wonder what your daughter will think looking from her perspective. She probably will worry that you will just ship her off too like you did her brother. "


Please take a chance to read more about me then just my last few posts, and keep in mind that I am about only a 4 hour drive from you, and now have your ISP. Hope the weather in Charlottesville was nice today.

Furthermore, don't bother coming back here and leaving this kind of crap assvice on my blog. You have NO idea what I have been through with and for this young man, and until you do you will NEVER understand what I am going through.

I don't Bible thump or anything even remotely close. I have dealt with my Son and tried to do the best that I can. Would you suggest letting him just rot away in his room all day because he is to lazy to clean his own ass, get a job, do his homework, or even have friends??

Do you have a clue what it is like to raise a special needs child?? Unless you do then shut the hell up!! I am sick to death of people judging me for doing what was the hardest thing I have ever done, so you and you stupid little comment can kiss my ass.

BTW, keep your mouth shut about my daughter, she will be just fine, no matter what your opinion is on the matter.