March 4, 2010

Thinking it over....

I know that most of you will agree that Anon is out of line, and I am right there with you!! I cannot thank you all enough for your support, as it makes me fell like even though you aren't here with me, you are "virtually" there for me, and it helps to know that I have an "army" of friends out there who get it!! Wishing 4 One asked me in her last comment if I thought this was someone I know IRL, and unfortunately I think it might be.

When I went "public" with my blog in January, I knew that I was putting myself out there. I mean our names are on here now and used in most every post that I make. Lauryn's name is not spelled in the normal way, so if searched, in combination with my name and Keith's name, I am sure it would bring you right here. Ok, I just googled it and yeah you can find me like that, so nuff said. I have a feeling that I do know who it is, and frankly if it is who I suspect, I am very heartbroken.

On the other hand I had been considering breaking off this friendship for about 2 months because it has just become toxic. This person makes a point of telling me just how she feels about the way that we are handling the Kent situation, and it is along the lines of the comments that Anon has made. She makes me feel badly about the parenting choices I make with regards to both of my children, and some of them have been downright rude, leaving me in tears. I know that no one is a perfect parent, and I never have claimed to be... I am learning everyday. This person however does not seem to want to acknowledge that no one has all the answers when it comes to raising children, especially special needs kids who have physical issues, not to mention mental issues.

There are also other things that she throws in my face, but the ones that hurt the most are the ones judging my parenting skills, so I will leave it at that.

Kent has a lot of issues from his past, from before he even came to live with us, that have caused him anger and frustration, along with a severe fear of abandonment. This actually happens a lot when children are removed from bio-families and placed into foster care, not to mention the things that happened to him before he was taken away. He also has to deal with the fact that the neglect that his family put him through is partly if not wholly to blame for his paralysis. Trust me on this one, it really could have been avoided if they would have just paid attention at the time. I think this is the big reason that he was so scared to go to the hospital and get help, he figured that we were just going to drop him off and run. I don't think he sees that as the case now, because we have been to visit, and we participate in family therapy every week. We have every intention of letting Kent come home once he has reached a level where he can control and manage his anger appropriately, and has proven that he is ready and willing to be more independent. He is 18 now and needs to take on life just like any other young adult. He was making no movement in the general direction of independence, in fact it was just the opposite, he was becoming more and more dependant on us for everything.

I have come to the conclusion that people are going to judge me no matter what I do or say, and that is ok because everyone is entitled to their opinion. I am not going to apologize or feel guilty for the things that I have done in regards to Kent because I think that what we have done thus far is exactly what we and he needed. I love my son with all my heart, and even though we don't share DNA, we do have a very special bond that will be with us for the rest of our lives.

People will come and go in our lives, but the one thing that remains unwavering is my love for my son and my daughter.

13 comments:

Carolyne said...

What a lovely post.

You've hit the nail on the head with your last comment. That's all that matters.

I hope anon buzzes off and leaves you (& whoever else they may be bugging alone).

Tracey... said...

Yes, you do know best...never forget that! Great post! Maybe Anon will leave now.

..Soo.See.. said...

The last line sums it all up. And unfortunately some people don't get that. I hope Anon just stops w/ the shenanigans too. [[hugs]]

Lorraine said...

Hmmm - IRL but anonymous is even worse. It's so incomprehensible that someone could know MORE about your story and not see it for a really heroic effort to be the parents that this boy needed even if it might be too late to ever make up for some of what had happened.

I'd like to be able to tell myself that I could do that, too - but the truth is I don't know if I could. You have taken on a remarkable challenge and you are clearly doing everything you can to raise a young man with the same sense of responsibility and independence and respect for himself that any parent would want for their kids. I am so, so proud of you! Keep it up!

(My word verification is "tacko" - seems like an apt combination of tacky and wacko - kinda like your anon!)

kimbosue said...

You summed it up best! Hugs to you!

Lost in Space said...

Great post, Erica.

Ignore and delete or block anon comments. She isn't worth any more of your effort.

Andrea said...

Thank you for your bravery.

Susan said...

Congratulations on your first troll!! Now block her ass.

Kristine said...

Hugs! Sounds like a complete idiot...IGNORE. :-D

Poison Ivy said...

((((Big hugs))) Girl, anon is trying to make itself feel better by tearing you down. What a skank! She knows she can't hold a candle to you and your parenting skills. She is desperately lacking. Bagging on you is the only way she gets some type of attention. She is lacking and jealous. Ugh!
Hopefully, the skankasaurus will find someone else to troll and get her jollies elsewhere. Or, maybe she will get a life.

Kristin said...

What a beautiful post. Your love for your children really shines through.

Aj said...

I'm pretty sure I know who you are talking about and I think it's time to let the broad go. She's got serious issues within herself,and it's easier to put her crap onto you. yah I know you are reading this and it's TRUE.... go get some help lady. Anyhow.. love yah E!

Shazz said...

I just think that this guttless troll who has to go anon is pathetic. Unless someone has walked in your shoes and know exactly what things are like should grow up and pull their head in!

This is your Blog and your thoughts so if ya don't like it don't read it. I think you can block anons from commenting.