An update....

I Keep swearing to myself that I am going to get here every day to update, but crap I have had soooooo much going on this week it was impossible!!! So, this is gonna be LONG!!!

Well, it has been a long time since I have been able to brag on my Little Man, so here it goes.....At the beginning of the school year Kent asked about getting tested for the AIG (Advanced In Grade) Program, similar to AP classes for High School kids, but for Junior High kids. Well, we filled out the application for him, and they accepted his application for testing right away however, there were 8 kids ahead of him on the testing schedule, and only one school psychologist for the county, so it has taken this long for him to get tested, and he PASSED with flying colors!!!! Mom and Dad are SOOOOO PROUD!!!!! I met with the teachers to discus the results of the testing, and they said that Kent placed in the 93% for his age... meaning that he has the cognitive intelligence of a 25+ year old, and they all agreed to put him into the AIG program!!! So starting this next week, he will be in all advanced classes!! I have to tell you that I knew he could do it because he is so very intelligent, we just had to ride his behind for YEARS to get him to this stage!! He even Scored up into the 35 year old range on some of the stuff, so I will never hear the end of how he now THINKS he is smarter then we are!!! I am so happy for him because he was starting to doubt himself as the school year has worn on, but I pushed him to test telling him I KNEW he could do it!! I guess it is more special to me because the docs never thought he would advance intellectually beyond the 4th grade, because of the Cancer and issues around it, much less come as far as he has!! When I told him again today that I was sooo proud of him, he looked at me and said "You always knew I could do it didn't you?" I told him I NEVER had one doubt that he would pass!!" I have to admit that is the best thing that his BioParents gave him and his siblings... BRAINS!!! All three of then are sooo smart!! I just had to teach him how to use what they gave him in the right way!! I remember when he first came to live with us, and he used to have huge meltdowns over schoolwork, and even threw things at us and the homeschool teacher when she came ... but we stuck to our guns, and here we are!!! Gosh can ya tell I think he is just AWESOME????!!!

Clark had a terrible reaction to his new BP meds his VA doc put him on, so we were off to see our PCP on Tuesday AM. When we got there his BP was very high as was his pulse, they wanted to do an EKG on him, but he wouldn't let them. UGH MEN!!! So, she told him that she would put him back on one of the old meds that worked fairly well for him, allong with a new one to help alleviate the swelling that he always gets when he is on it, so we will have to see how that goes. I get so freaking worried about him and that heart of his, I loose sleep over it many nights.

The DSS situation is turning into a full time commitment from me!!! I did tons of research over the weekend, and found several places where they actually broke the VA Administrative Code, by first off not sending an application for renewal, among other things. Well, yesterday I finally got a call from the Assistant Director about the letter that I sent them on the 30th of March.... took them long enough huh??!! Well, I called her back, and she wasn't there, so I left a message, but she still hasn't returned my call yet. When she does call me though, I am going to INFORM her that I have sent further correspondence to the Director, and that I sent it Certified mail, so after he gets that letter, then I will schedule an appointment for us to have a sit down, face to face. I worte the letter to him letting him know that I found the Codes that they broke, and that I can in fact have a license from their DSS here, and that our state has to honor it. That was what I found in the Interstate Compact. It just makes me sick to think that I as a Lay Person/Foster Parent know more about their jobs then they do, and all I had to do was Google the info!!! It further sickens me that they obviously think that I am an idiot or a pushover, and just won't press the issue... oh but they don't know me very well do they??? Us RedNecks do have Internet access!! LOL They have woken a sleeping BEAR, and I am NOT going to sit here and let them run all over the top of me!!!

On the "Home" front, after 3 years of living here, and dealing with a lake for a front yard everytime it rained, we are finally getting our front yard graded!! See, we put our house on an old horse racetrack, and the berm is higher out at the road in front. The new neighbors were having theirs pulled down and gettting the yard graded, so I went and asked the guy if he would do ours, and he said sure for $75 an hour... UGH that hurt my feelings, but hey after he does it I can FINALLY PLANT the trees and flowers that I have been growing in containers for the last 2 years!! Not just the planting, but we are going to have a HUGE porch on the front, and that will be sooooo nice to finally have to!! Clark and I also went and bought a NEW John Deere lawn mower!! You know you're a RedNeck Woman when the fact that you get a new John Deere riding mower is one of the highlights of the week!!! LOL We had actually bought a new Craftsman mower 2 years ago, but it SUCKS... it doesn't cut the grass right, and it ends up taking me hours to mow because I have to go soooo slow, and lap the passes, just to keep from getting uncut furrows in the grass. We got a 7 year old John Deere last year from the neighbor for free ( I swear I think Clark has some Jew in him!!) LOL He got it for free for fixing her 15 year old Snapper mower last fall, he put an $80 part on it, got it running, and then he just fell in love with how well it runs and cuts. So, after much deliberation, we just broke down and got a new one!!

My mom has been talking about coming out here for 2 weeks over the summer so that Clark and I can take a "HoneyMoon" (we didn't have one 12 years ago when we got married) and I would love it if she did!! She loves Kent so much that you would never know he wasn't her BioGrandSon!! I think it will be great for him to spend some time alone with her, not to mention that I wand to see her, and that I would LOVE to get away just Clark and I for more then a few hours!! Everytime we try to go somewhere it becomes a chore trying to find someone to take care of all the Dogs, and so Clark usually ends up sending Kent and I off alone, and staying here with them. So, needless to say we haven't had a vacation, just the 2 of us since 1. Kent came to live with us, and 2. we got all the dogs. My mom is a dog groomer, so I know she can handle the Mutts, just not sure if she can handle the Kid!! LOL

Clarks mom and dad are supposed to be coming out for a few days to visit now that Kent is offically a member of the Family , and I think my dad and step mom were going to try to come out here also!! Full house!!

I have found and discussed with Clark, and ultimately decided to send Kent to a camp in NC for physically disabled kids near Greensboro this summer for a week!! He is NOT happy about it though, and frankly I don't care!! He needs to be with kids who have the same issues that he does, and I KNOW he will have a ball and make tons of new friends!! The website is amazing, and it looks like a great place for him!! The camp is actually sponsered by Kyle & Patti Petty (of the Nascar Petty's). There is also a weekend camp up in Front Royal, VA that offers a Cancer Kids weekend that I am trying to get him into. They pick the kids up from CHKD and take them up there, the best thing is that he can take a friend with him!! I am just waiting to hear back from the recruiter to see if he can attend since he is so far out from diagnosis. I am hoping that he will have a ball because I know that he is going to be 18 way to soon for me, and I want him to have all the fun experiences that he can pack into the next few years!! So needless to say we are going to have a very BUSY SUMMER if everything works out!!

Ok, so I need to run so that I can get going on Kent's scrapbook, call all the utility people, get Clark into Andrology ( So he can drop off his "Boys"), and finish the laundry. Ugh so much to do so little time!!!

The Punches just keep coming....

Ok so here it goes...... The weekend: Friday afternoon while we were waiting for Clark to get home, I got an email from Cindy (my dear friend), and it was full of Pictures of Jacob throughout his short little life... I downloaded them to my PrintShop, and was looking at them when Kent came out of his room... I asked him if he wanted to see them since he knew Jacob, Cindy, and Bill, and he said yeah... While we were looking through the pics, he said to me "It must be hard looking at pictures of someone else's baby when you don't have any of your own." At first I totally misunderstood his statement, and asked him if he meant me looking at them, and if he did then I didn't have trouble because all of the pictures that I get from you all are pictures of your "Miracles." When I turned to ask him if he understood what I meant he had these huge tears rolling down his cheeks.... I said "Aww hunny what is that all about?", and he said to me "I didn't mean you, I meant me, I have NO Pictures of me when I was a Baby." I got it, and my poor heart just broke for this tuff little man sitting there with tears running down his face!! The pain that poor boy has over a simple little act of families all over the planet. He has one very poor photo of him as a toddler and that is it until he came into foster care!! I knew that he had said that he was upset that he didn't have photo's in the past, but to see the hurt on his face that he has nothing to show from those years, just BROKE MY HEART!! The sad thing is that there are no pictures that I know of at all. I know that his mom was asked a few years ago if she had some photos that DSS could copy for the kids, and she said that through the years she had lost them all. How freaking sad is that??? I don't know what to do to fix this for him, and that is the part that is killing me... I can fix almost everything else, but this.... UGH!!! Other then that it was a quiet weekend, and I totally decided to do a scrapbook for Kent and try to get what photos I can... so while doing some research looking for his Bio G-ma, I found out that one of my very first and favorite patients had passed away on the 21st of March. I was heart broken, I thought about her and her family all the time, and even called her brother in AZ often to see how she was doing. I found out where the funeral was, and was going to go, but the more I thought about how angry her daughter was with me when I left them .... When we got Kent I had to stop working for them... That I thought it was better not to go just to avoid making a scene. I am so very sad though. Monday: I finally got to talk with my adoption worker, and she explained a lot of things to me, so now I know why our adoption hasn't been closed here, it is still official, but they just haven't closed it out here because of the new wheelchair we are waiting for, and the Medicaid has to stay open there for us to get it. So until that happens then we will still be open here... I did however ask her if they were still required to visit Kent quarterly, and she said yes that it was Interstate Compact Law that they see him every 3 months until our adoption is closed. Then she tells me about how she had the oddest conversation with the Interstate worker that I talked to, after 1 phone conversation of like 15 minutes, 2 emails, the last time she called the woman, the lady had NO CLUE who my worker was or who she was calling about... so after a refresher, the lady tells my worker... "The next time you call me just tell me that you are calling about the WHEELCHAIR KID FROM VIRGINIA!!! @@ @@ I want to call her so bad, HOW DARE she refer to my child as the wheelchair kid from VA??? He has a damn name... so that is going in my letter to my congressman along with her freaking name!! How WRONG is that??? I had to call Clark after I hung up with my worker because I was gonna call her and chew her ass.... Some people have no couth, and she works for DSS for crying out loud!!! UGH I spent the rest of the day just pissed off because of that stupid comment. Tuesday: I got a letter late yesterday from DSS about a class that they are offering, so I called the worker listed on the sheet and left a message... See last week in my cleaning frenzy, I came across my Foster Care license, and noticed that it expires the 31st of this month.. Ut Oh... so I also left that in the message to her. Not sure why I haven't gotten the paperwork to renew yet, but I have a SNEAKING feeling that it has a lot to do with just one caseworker. I have decided to write a letter to the director of DSS to bring this to his attention, because I don't think it was just a little over site if you catch my drift!! I almost forgot.. I got a call from the wheelchair people Friday, and he told me it will be the middle of April before the chair will be ready.. UGH, I don't know why in the hell it takes MONTHS for this stuff to get done... we started all this crap on the 15th of November for crying out loud!! Kent's old chair is just so raggedy it isn't even funny... hell the thing has been with him since he was 6... so it is more then time for a new one... I guess we will order some new tires for it, and keep it as a spare since the new one he is getting doesn't fold up. I wrote and sent my letter to my congressman today about all the crap that I have been trying to get done with DSS here, and then about the comment that the Interstate worker said, and I hear he really takes stuff like that serious, so I am hoping that he can help me... I only put in the part about the Interstate Compact, and the fact that they should have been here 3 times that they missed, and the wheelchair comment. I hope that he can help me out. I have heard just horrible things from teachers here about DSS and the lack of concern for the kids in this county that it just makes me sick. How these people get away with this crap is beyond me... hmm maybe I need a new mission!!! Wednesday: This gets even more interesting everyday.... I finally got a call back from the worker in charge of that class I called about on Monday... well I told her there is no point in me coming if I am not going to be a foster parent after the 31st, and she was like uhhhh yeah I need you to talk to another worker about this whole thing... so she transfers me to that worker ( I know him well, and don't like him as it is) and this is what he had to say.... They screwed up, and should have never renewed our license 2 years ago, and that is the reason that they wouldn't place kids with us... ahhh but no one ever flipping told me!! So to make a long story short, we haven't been LEGALLY LICENSED Foster Parents for 2 freaking years, because we moved, and they had no legal right to license us again. I tell you what I am so upset and confused as to how this happened. We don't have the time to take the classes here because they have them starting at 6 PM, and Clark doesn't get home til 5:30 or later, and they don't have a Saturday class, not to mention the fact that they don't allow you to bring kids, and I am NOT leaving Kent home alone that late at night. UGH, I feel like I was literally just blown out of the water!! So I guess my foster parent days are over for a long time.... :o( I feel like they have stolen a part of my identity to tell you the truth, Clark doesn't see it that way, and now he is worried about the legal ramifications it could have, but I have already spoken to an attorney weeks ago, and he said that we have a case if push comes to shove. But I decided to send the 3 page letter I had written to the director anyway, and see what happens. I can play stupid just as well as they can.....Thursday: Well, Kent had an appointment with his Psych today, so we went to that, and then I drug him to Michael's and he helped me pick out all the stuff for HIS scrapbook!!! We had a ball, I love that freaking store... I spent $131.00, and I know Clark is gonna trip, but it is worth it to me to make this Memory Book for him!! After that I got us some lunch, and wouldn't you know it I had to wait almost 10 minutes for french fries, so I was late to my psych appointment, It went well. I mailed the letters to the director and asst director while I was out so they would get them faster, and now I will sit back and see. Then we got my scripts, and came home. It was really a long day, and I was sooo beat by 8 that I couldn't keep my eyes open. So, here I am and it is Friday morning, wonder what this day will hold?? I have been having some spotting all week long, and I don't know why really, but today is only CD 25, so I have no idea what those little ovaries are up to down there, I have still been having all kinds of twinges and pains in both of them, so i guess I am gonna have to break down and go see the PCP to see if she can find anything wrong with them. She will prolly tell me to see my GYN... don't have one, so gonna have to do that... crap I guess this day is gonna be long after all. I wanted to get started on the Book today to, but Kent is out of school today, so it is gonna have to wait... I went through all of our photos, and pulled tons out to put in it, I guess I am just hoping this will in some way make him feel so much better. So, off I go to the wonderful life I have to run......

It's been a LONG week.....

Ugh, I had a long frustrating week this week so I am days late getting here.... day by day blow by blow coming right up.....Monday: I went to see my psychiatrist and I told him that splitting my meds was driving me nuts... when I took the AM dose, it made me sooo tired for like 5 hours, so he switched me to all of them at night.. we will see how this works... I spent the rest of the day cleaning, and running crap to the dump... good Lord I didn't realize 3 people could have so much JUNK!!! Tuesday: I got out of the house early this AM. Went up to VA, hit PetSmart for dog food and hermit crab stuff, hit the PO to mail a special box, and then to Walmart for some stuff I need to finish organizing my "craft" room. I got pretty pissed at WalMart because the checker was slow as molasses and made me late for my dr appointment, and I didn't even have that much... she literally counted every bin I had and rang them up separately!! I had 15 of them... uh hello scan one, and then hit repeat... nope she had to do each one of them!! UGH My therapy visit was good, we talked a lot about the Infertility issues that I have, and the upcoming cycles that we will be doing, talked about Kent, and some other things. I like her she seems like a really nice lady!! She brought a few things to my attention that I am gonna have to really think about until I see her the next time. After that appointment, I came home and hit the house again!! Boy is my hunny gonna be proud!!! Wednesday: Today was a DOWN day... I cannot tell you how hard it is for me right now to have soooo many people around me getting pregnant... quite a few of them in the last week and a half have been "oops" pregnancies. Not that I begrudge any of them don't get me wrong, it is just so very hard to watch everyone get the one thing that I want so badly, and get it so seemingly easy. It has been really eating at me... I think it has a lot ot do with my impending birthday, and the fact that I really thought that I would be done having kids already. Just goes to show how far off center your childhood dreams can be!! May is going to be a pretty hard month because I have 3 friends due then, one of them is having her miracle baby though, so I am sooo happy for her, happy for all of them, but there is a little green man on my shoulder, and he isn't a leprechaun!! I hate that I am jealous, but I guess it is normal. I just keep praying everyday that I will be able to thump that little green man right off my shoulder SOON!! I wasn't feeling good this afternoon, my ovaries have really been bothering me the last 2 months, and I am not sure what is going on, all I know is that it is both of them at the same time, and it gets pretty painful. The only way that I can get comfy is to sit down or lay all curled up. Advil hasn't been working, and on top of it all when they start doing this I get horrible lower back pain, so I am gonna have to ask my PCP about this. I was surprised to feel them hurting because last week there was nothing there on either one when Dr. B did the ultrasound at my work up visit... Hmmmm. Kent had a 'tude tonight and I was soooo not in the mood so he kinda got his head bitten off when he copped that tude over dinner... UGH I will have to warn him ahead of time of the risk to his life when I do not feel well!! Thursday: Nother one of those "bad" days, feeling sorry for myself, but I got up and cleaned all day again... drawers and cabinets were the biggies today... the house is getting a total spring cleaning because I am sick of looking at it!! It is freaking the dogs out I think though cuz they just keep looking at me like "What got into you!!" Course they are most of the reason I have to vacumme almost everyday!! SLOBS!! LOL I love them though. At least their daddy will be home tomorrow, and they can stare at him!! My tummy has been off today to so that has slowed me down a little to if you catch my drift!! But for the most part I have gotten most of the stuff done that I wanted to before Clark came home.... He thinks he's is just gonna drive right through, so I will be seeing him late Friday night. My adoption worker finally returned my call this afternoon, but I was taking a nap (go figure), and Kent couldn't find the phone (go figure) so she had to leave a message... Hmm I tell you people just DO NOT LISTEN TO ME when I talk... she said that she had talked to the Interstate worker, and they seem to think that I am only worried about medicaid, when that wasn't what I was talking about at all.... What part of I want my ADOPTION closed out with the county and state do they not freaking get???? I am not worried about the medicaid as Kent is on our insurance, so that isn't it. I have had issues with the IRS, can't file my taxes yet, the Social Security Admin. because his name hasn't been changed. It is driving me freaking NUTS, and I literally broke it down for the interstate worker... but alas no one listens!! I cannot believe these people have degree's sometimes!! UGH!!! So now that I have gotten some of that frustration out, today isn't looking to good!! It is raining, so the weather makes for a dark mood with me... I am going to try to get some things done on the phone today, and finish the cleaning that I need to.... I already got off to a bad start though... Blew making coffee this AM... I set it all up last night and went to bed only to wake up to it flowing all over the counter grinds and all.... I forgot to put the pot back after I filled the reservoir!! UGH. Boy that was a freaking mess!! Lastly....... Happy Birthday in Heaven Jacob!!! I miss you little man, and I pray that you are having so much fun with your brothers up there!! Let your mommy know you are there today, because I know she misses you terribly!! I wish you were still here making her everyday a joy, but I know that you are whole up there with the Big Guy. So, look over your mommy, daddy, and big brother today!! I love you!!!

I found the floors!!!!

He He He... I finally found the floors in my spare bedrooms.... I started on Friday evening, and was pretty well into it when I had to stop because I was just beat around 11:30. As most of you know we have a 4 bedroom house, and since Kent is the only rug rat we have then there were 2 extra rooms for me to trash!! I am a pack rat by birth (Thanks Mom) and I cannot believe the crap I found!! I have a pile of stuff to haul to the dump later today that is about 6 feet high, along with some yard sale stuff!! The Man of the house will be so proud when he gets home!!! So I have the back bedroom all cleaned out for a new little one should that day come, and then my Craft/storage room has been pretty well organized!!! I am very proud of myself to because I hadn't and the desire or the energy to do ANYTHING with them until I got on these new Meds... Dr. P is a GOD!! I think it was the meds... or it could have been the threat that Clark made about backing the truck up to the windows and tossing it all out!! Hmmmm either way I got it done!! Yay Me!!! The fur babies have soooo been missing their daddy this week!! I think Bella is the worst, she needs freaking Prozac I'm telling ya!!! Tater has become the guardian of the mommy, and the food bowl... Crap you would think we never feed them!!! Our two foster mutts Frito and Honey have become every shoes worst enemy... they have eaten 5 pairs of shoes with the last being a $50 pair of my nursing clogs!! So I have to do a shoe round-up every night before bed, and during the day several times!! They even tried to steal the slippers right off my feet the other day!! I am sooo ready for Friday to get here to see my honey, only 5 more days to go!! I cannot tell you how I have missed him!! It feels like he has been gone an eternity!! We talk on the phone every night, but it isn't the same at all!! At least Kent has been minding his manners with Mom a little better since dad has been gone!!! I think that he realizes that the Jig is up, and Dad meant business when he grounded him this last time. He moped around the house most of the weekend because there was a dance Friday night that he wasn't allowed to go to... when I asked him if there was a dance he says to me "Yeah there is, but I knew I couldn't go so there was no point in me even mentioning it to you!!" Ahhh he IS learning!!! I know that he knows how much we love him, but he is at that golden transitional age right now!! Boy do I remember 14!! I tell him that I remember 14 so well that is why he CANNOT get anything over on me!! I stored it just for days when I had a 14 year old of my own!!!! He He He.. Poor kid!!!! My mom and I have been spending a lot of time talking about the AAT diagnosis that she got last summer, and the fact that she isn't doing well as far as liver function. We were talking yesterday morning about my grandmother's passing, and we both were crying, because we know what is to come will be the same for her as it was when Gma was sick 10 years ago. I guess that I just get scared, because I KNOW there are hard times to come, and I can only PRAY that she will stay healthy for years to come. I know that she feels bad that I came back as a carrier of the phenotype for it, and even though the likelihood of me developing the disease is small it is there. I tried to tell her that I am not mad at her for anything at all, it is just there, as long as I know that it is there, and can take the steps that I need to in my life to keep from getting sick then that is all that matters. I actually worry more about her because I know from researching this what is coming, and I am soooo not ready to face this at all.... My grandmother died 10 years ago this winter, and I was totally devastated. She was only 58, and my mom will be 50 in May. I can only hope that with all of the information that I have sent her that she will be knowledgeable enough to make the changes that need to be made so that she can be here for years to come. She is very smart, and I know she is gonna do it!! Well, hell now that I have myself worked up to tears, I guess I better close this out, and get back to work on getting the house in order!!! There is a stack of dishes calling my name, and 2 trips to the dump in the days plans!! Oh the joys of being me!! LOL :o)

Back in the Stur-ups again!!!!

Ok first things first... Clark is in GA for 2 weeks, he left on Sunday :o( I have had a few very busy days here trying to get some things handled with DSS. Ok here is the deal...... We finalized our adoption Months ago.... The last time I saw my DSS worker was last June... well since September I have been calling them to try to get a visit, and when I called the first time I was told that our old worker wasn't there anymore, and that they would have to get us a new worker... ok.... fast forward to December, 3 phone calls later, and I still don't have a new worker. January, still nothing. So now Feb. hits, and my adoption worker is getting antsy cuz DSS still hasn't closed our adoption, and they cannot close out anything there until they do. So I call, Nothing. Finally I went into the DSS office on the 3rd of this month, told them what was up, and even made a snide little remark about knowing how the media feels about "lost" kids in the foster system ( I couldn't help it!! I swear!!). So the worker says I will have the director call you first thing Monday, that being the 6th.... well did you guess??? I still haven't heard ANYTHING!!! So today I decide to break out the big guns and call the head Interstate office... Well, as soon as the woman realized that I was telling her that DSS here was screwing up she got downright SNOTTY!! Told me that she would make some calls, but that she had an important meeting, and would get to it after lunch, and call me back by 4. Well the phone never rang. UGH I am getting the cold shoulder from my adoption worker now for whatever reason, so I am getting no where! I cannot switch any of his services here or enroll him in medicaid. I mean you would think they would love to get him out of the "System" Crap I am so frusterated that no one seems to want to help, or that they even care that he hasn't been able to get the stuff that I need for him. I tell you guys I will NEVER do an Interstate adoption again!!! Hmm can ya tell I am just a tad irritated?? Kent has been behaving so so since Clark left, lots of attitude, but then I remember that when I was 14 to... had to throw as much attitude out there as I could get away with!!! He told his GrandMa (my mom) on the phone the other night that the reason he is failing Science is because of the Hottie that is sitting next to him!! @@ He said it is the Hormones making him not be able to pay attention!! I cannot believe that came out of his mouth.... ok I can he is OUR son after all!! :o) Now on to something very exciting in the World of this Infertile Mad Woman......I had an appointment with my new Reproductive Endocronologist (laymans terms, the fertility doc, and to save space from here on out the "RE") yesterday!!!! So I Knew the RE I was going to see, she used to be the assistant to my old RE, and she was actually the one who had done my last HSG(Look at the tubes and uterus). We talked about all the new developments since I was last there.. My moms liver disease, and that I carry the gene for it, the Metformin level that I am on, LUFS, and the psych meds I am on, and that I think I have thryoid problems.... then she shocked me and asked me what I WANTED TO DO??!! @@ I have never had an RE ask me what I wanted to do.... well as much as I would love to just jump right to IVF (been at this for almost 14 years) I told her and she agreed that the Clomid worked ok for me last time, and that now I am on Met. that I felt comfortable starting out with 3 cycles of Clomid @ 50mg. She agreed, told me that my HSG was great, so she didn't feel the need for a Lap(exp. surgery) like the other RE has said, and we went in to get a look at those Ovaries.... Right one is covered with follies, almost 20 of them, but as is very common with PCOS, not a dominant one to be found!!! So then we go searching for the left one (it likes to hide) and it was sitting behind my uterus with one little follie that we could see... that is the side that my tube looks like a corkscrew on!! It was pretty funny that she actually remembered that when I asked her about it... My lining was very thin, so she said she didn't see that I was gonna O (ovulate)any time soon :o( Yesterday was CD 11 (cycle day) so there is that wonderful PCOS again..... So... The "GamePlan" is that we will start with OI (Ovulation Induction) and IUI (Intra-Uterine Insemination) for 3 months, and then on to other things.... the best part was that she asked me if I wanted to be in a clinical trial that they are doing just for OI, all the drugs will be covered, and then I will get some $'s off of the cost of my office visit!! Our insurance covers Clomid/IUI and Injects/IVF, and only in that way... so if she does move me onto injects and IUI then at least the drugs will be free. Our ins. also does IF(Infertility) stuff at a flat 50% except for meds, so she told me that they will do the clinical $'s off my 50%!! So all I have to wait for is Clark to get back from GA, and go give them some "boys", so that she can submit the letter and findings to the ins. for final approval. In the mean time I just sit here and wait for AF..... she did me provera though if I got to far out CD wise (My last cycle was 56 days) and wanted to take it!! So that is it, I am sooo excited to finally be moving in a forward direction again!!! I have to go see the Psych today, for a med check, and it has been a hard 2 weeks, but to be totally honest with you I am feeling better everyday, I can actually "feel" my motivation coming back. Maybe I will get both of my spare bedrooms cleaned out before Clark comes home after all??!! LOL Gosh I miss him!! It is so weird not having him here... nothing like when he was in the Navy though, cuz we talk on the phone everynight, but it is still hard to think of him all by himself :o( LOL At least I have 8 dogs, 2 cats, 2 birds, 2 hermit crabs, and a fish to keep me company... Oh yeah I ALMOST forgot Kent to!! He He He Trust me he never lets me forget he is here!!! LOL Well I am off to the day I have ahead!! Sorry that it took me so long to get caught up again!!