April 3, 2007

Did ya miss me???

Boy it doesn't feel like a week since I wrote last, but it has been.... geez, and what a week it has been!!! I have worked for 9 days straight, and won't be off again til Saturday, so in my down time I have been catching up on my other blogs and seeing what is going on with all my "girls". I also spent a lot of Sunday watching the entries to the IIFF, and all I can say is WOW!!! there were a lot of tears shed in front of my computer that day!! I don't know how to post a link in my actual post, so I will put the link in my side bar for those of you who don't already have it... very powerful stuff there!!!!

So busy, busy girl I have been. We actually went looking for a new van on Saturday, and all I can say is HOLY SHIT!!! The conversion vans that we looked at that had the lift and all that we need for Kent were 50 grand brand new, and the cheapest used one that they had was still 26 grand!! I have no idea how anyone can afford that!! I kills me that I cannot afford to get a decent van for us. Our biggest issue is that it has to be one that Kent will be able to drive in, so I cannot even see buying a new one, cuz we all know how teens are with cars!!! Hell, that kid can't even go through the house in his wheelchair without running into the walls, so no way am I buying a 2007 anything!!! Like I said though even the used ones aren't cheap!! I told Clark to just forget getting anything and just make Kent transfer in and out of the van we have, but he said no because I would still have to pick up his wheelchair to put it in the van. I told him that was fine with me, and he said that it wasn't fine with him because if I got pregnant he didn't want me lifting anything at all!! Oh what a man I have!!! The other thing is that when Kent leaves for college in a few years, the van will go with him, so we will be looking for another car then to. It has been an all around frustrating situation!!

We have also been experiencing some really severe problems with Kent's attitude... yeah, yeah I know he is 15, but this has gone to a whole new level for even him. See, Kent has this problem with us even saying anything about him being handicapped, so you can imagine how Saturdays trip went over!! He was outwardly hostile for the rest of the weekend, and told me that I spend to much time worrying about him being disabled, and not treating him like a normal kid... Uh OK EXCUSE the hell out of me if I am trying to make your life easier!! I explained to him that he is not a normal 15 year old physically, and he needs to stop denying that he is in a wheelchair, adapt and over come... well that went over like a fart in the wind!!! He is such a smart kid, and love him to death, but at this point I am starting to get pretty resentful of this whole attitude that he has. I talked to my therapist about it today, and she feels that it is one of 2 things.... A) He has realized that he is growing up, and it scared the crap out of him... or .... B) He is having problems dealing with us doing IVF, and that if we get PG then he won't be the "baby" anymore. I don't know what it is though, and today when I tried to talk to him about it, I got the standard teen response... "I don't want to talk about it!!" So, it looks like he will be going back to his therapist for some tweaking!!!

I was supposed to go pick up my meds today, but there was a problem with the insurance, and a misunderstanding at the clinic, and my pre-auth didn't get faxed until yesterday.... lucky for me I have L*pron from my last cycle so I am just going to start on that if they can't get it ready in time. I wasn't supposed to start on the L*pron until CD21 but they changed it to CD 14, and no one told the business office!! No biggie, just a little irritating because work makes it hard for me to just get up and run an hour there and back!!

So, off to bed I go... long day tomorrow to!!! I haven't seen my Tivo'd "Day's of Our Lives" in almost a week, so that is what I am doing in the morning before I leave!! Oh I love that TIVO!!!


Samantha said...

I think it's rough for teens to accept that they are different in any way, and maybe Kent is feeling that more as he heads into the thick of his teenage years. I think by the time we're adults, we understand and appreciate accomodataions to make our lives easier, but teenagers may view such things as just making them stick out and bringing unwanted attention to them.

I remember worrying about going out to dinner with my parents because people might see me and think it was wierd. As an adult, do I ever look at other diners, and think, "why's that teenage girl eating with her parents? Doesn't she have anything better to do?" No. But as a teen I worried that was what everyone thought. I can only imagine that Kent, who does have a visible disability, feels this much more strongly.

Kris said...

You have been busy!

I think Samantha may be on to something. I always worried about stuff that I look back on now and marvel at how unimportant it all was. Being a teen is hard with all of the imagined stuff...having an obvious disability adds an additional dimension to that.

Hope your meds for this cycle get squared away. Nice of them to let you know of the change in plans...

Kellie said...

Wishing you lots of luck on this cycle, and hoping that Kent's attitude improves soon.