What a week......

Well, it has been a week since transfer and it has been one of the worst weeks of my life!! I will tell you this is not the piece of cake that I thought it was going to be, and I will be hard pressed to do it again if I get a negative Beta!!

Friday: I spent the whole day writhing and crying in pain, and by the time Clark got home I was a bawling mess. I couldn't pee, couldn't catch my breath, couldn't drink, and couldn't eat. I was having abdominal cramps that would have brought any man to tears!! So Clark called the RE's office, and they told us to go to the ER but to have the ER docs call them so they could explain what was going on to them. We went to the ER, and they rushed me right in because my BP was high, I had a fever, and I was in OBVIOUS distress. Well the PA that came to talk to me was very sweet, and was concerned about a few different things, well I told him that the RE said OHSS, and that he was supposed to call them, and he said ok and left. Then a little while later, I get an IV port and blood done. Then in comes the JACKASS of the year who picked me to try to be a DR on. Dr. Jackass told me that OHSS was bs, and that he thought that I had stress incontinence!! I told him about IVF, told him to call my doc, and he said he was going to do a bladder scan to see what was going on. I told him that he wasn't going to see anything in there cuz I hadn't been able to pee.... but you know how they are the doc is NEVER wrong. So in comes the nurse who looks 16 does the bladder scan, Dr. Jackass comes back in while she is doing it and says to me... "See you were wrong there is over 3000 CC's of urine in your bladder, I KNEW what I was talking about. Now we are going to put a Foley catheter in you and you are gonna have to wear it for at least four days until your bladder returns to normal." WHATEVER. I knew the fluid that they were seeing was in my abdomen, but Clark said that maybe if I just let them put the Foley in that would be it, and then I could go home. So I gave in, and let them put in the Foley... great fun I recommend it to anyone who loves to torture themselves.. and they got 50 yeah 50 whole CC's of urine..... FUCKERS!!! After a short rant about how the nurse must not have done something right, he sends me over to U/S to let them see if they can figure it out. The lady who did the U/S was great she tried very hard not to hurt me, and be as gentle as she could. She got a chuckle when she had to put 1000 CC's of saline in my bladder just to get a good picture of it, she looked right at me and said "Girl you have a tiny little bladder!!" I knew that. She checked the blood flow to my ovaries and commented on how HUGE they were, and I told her I knew that because I could feel them!! Back in the room, Dr. Jackass comes back in and tells me that I have a little extra fluid in my abdomen, as he ADJUSTED HIS JUNK in front of us, told me he was DX'ing me with pelvic pain and sending me home with pain meds. He also told me to get some Dramamine and some Metamucil (although I had severe diarrhea) and to call and check in with my docs in the AM, and off he went. The nurse comes in pulls the Foley, the IV, and gives me my discharge papers. Well after we waited 20 minutes for the script she comes back, and asks what we are waiting for... I told her that he was going to give me a script for pain meds, and she said he didn't leave her anything, but that she could get another doc to write one, and I told her to never mind, and then I looked her right in the face and told her that the doc that had seen me was a fucking idiot, and we left. Now two other things that happened while we were there that bothered me, and I plan on reporting them... the first was that they left a vial of my blood sitting in the room the whole 4 hours we were there and never took it to the lab, and the second one was that when the nurse removed my IV, she threw it in the regular trash.... not the sharps container, and not a bio hazard bag, but the TRASH!!! Now work in the medical field and I know that is not how things are done!! UGH!!!

Needless to say I was almost in tears when we left mostly because I was frustrated, but we went home, and I tried to sleep. The next morning the RE on call for the weekend called me to see how I was doing, and I told him that I was worse then the day before, and he told me that they wanted to see me right away because they were worried about a clot in my lungs with the pain I was having. So then he BLOWS me out of the water by asking if I had in fact gone to the ER and I said yes, and he said that not only did they NOT call him, but he had called the ER 4 times to see if I was OK, and they told him I WAS NOT there!! Can you believe that shit??? So we drive to the RE's office right away, and they did an U/S and looked me over, they drew blood, and my BP was high as a kite, and my temp was 101. They told me that they would call me back but that they didn't think they were going to need to drain the fluid just yet. Well, that night he called and told me that my blood work had come back bad and that they were putting me on antibiotics... now they did the same freaking test the night before at the ER... supposedly. So, he says they want to see me in clinic on Monday morning to check on me again, and if the fluid hadn't started to resolve then they were gonna have to Tap me and drain it.

Sunday I just stayed in bed all day per docs orders, and then Monday Clark came home to take me to my appointment. We went in fully expecting that I was going to get tapped, and then they tell me that they don't feel like they should do it due to the location of the fluid, and the chance that they might nick my bowels.... UGH, at that point I started crying because I literally looked like I was 6-7 months pregnant, and I had gained 12 pounds since Friday. I told them I wasn't sleeping at all, and that I couldn't even wipe my own ass!! All to no avail though because they still wouldn't do it and sent me home with an appointment for Wednesday. Well Wednesday comes, I go in and at that point my total weight gain in 1 week was 20 pounds... yep 20 freaking pounds of fluid I am carrying around, but alas they still won't drain me and they really think that I will "turn the corner" at any minute. One of the nurses really pissed me off to with this little comment "You know we have had girls sicker then you, in fact we just had a girl who spent over 2 months in the hospital with the same thing." I looked her right in the face and asked her what the hell her point was. At that point I really just wanted to smack the shit out of everyone in the damn office and leave. I had to set up yet another appointment for Friday afternoon so they can check on me again, and until tonight when I spiked a fever of 101 I wasn't planning on going, but now that I have a fever again Clark is insisting that I go....

I have had a bad week, and I HATE sitting around not doing anything, so this has really been hard on me!! I am not the helpless type, and I am the one who makes my house run smoothly, and although it is nice to have my guys do things for me, that crap gets old fast!! Last night a lot of the fluid moved into my legs, and that has me freaking out to. I can honestly say right at this very moment that if these 2 little ones decide not to stick around, I will be very hard pressed to find a good reason to do this again. I don't give up easy, but I cannot see how all this happening will make me want to jump in and do another cycle. They can't guarantee me that this will not happen again, and I cannot do this to myself and my family again. I guess it will take a lot of thinking and convincing myself, but I am praying that I won't have to..... BTW, I have not had one single symptom at all, so I am not sure if they did decide to hang out, Beta is still 6 days away, so I am hoping that they give me some kind of a sign before then!!