Add Insult to Injury!!!!

Ha, well my week got worse...

Remember how I said in my last post that I spiked a fever last night again?? Well, this AM I woke up, felt like hell, and my throat was hurting.... so being the medical geek that I am get the old flashlight out and look... ugh, white spots all over the back of my throat!!! SHIT. So, I figure it is one of two things, thrush from the Z-Pack, or Strep. I called the RE's office at 8:30 and tell them what was up, and asked the girl to have them call me back ASAP so that if need be I could go to my PCP for a rapid strep instead of going all the way to the clinic. So I waited... and waited, and waited some more.... Finally at 11:30 they called me back, and the nurse said that they felt I should just keep the 2 PM appointment that I had and they would look at it then. She said that it could be either thing, but that whatever it was they could give me meds for it. I flat out told her that they would have to cuz my PCP was only open half of the day, and since they waited so long to call me back they had already closed. I had already decided that I was going to go to my appointment because some of the swelling in my abdomen has gone down some, but now I have legs that looks like ham hocks!!! They were so swollen this morning that they hurt like hell, and I have no freaking ankles!!! In fact I caught site of myself in the mirror before I got in the shower, and I just busted out laughing.... You all know the movie where Jim Carey plays the Grinch in "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" Well, that is what I look like the scene where he is playing with his belly while getting his Santa suit on... How sad is that??!!

So, I get the the office on time, and my BP was 155/102, HR was 110, and temp was 101.2... Joy!!! My weight was still 170 so I was a little pissy about that, but at least it was the same as Wednesday.

After sitting there for about 30 minutes, donning nothing but my "paper towel", I started to cry..... I don't know why I just did. I think I was just so freaking worn out that I had nothing left in me to smile about. When the doc walked in about 15 minutes later, he just looked at me and asked "What is the matter?" To which I replied, "I am sick, I am sick of being sick, and I am sick of you telling me every other day that I am going to get better when it only gets worse, and I am so frustrated with this whole situation, and if you tell me one more time that I am going to turn the corner any minute, I am going to lose my damn mind!!!" I sobbed this all out, and looked up to see the "deer in the headlights" look on his face, and I just cried harder telling him that I was sorry, but that I was at the end of my rope and I just couldn't take this shit anymore. The nurse came over and gave me a big hug and told me it was OK, and I just kept sobbing. He stood there for a minute, and handed me a tissue, and looked me right in the face and said "I promise you it will get better" UGH!!!!!!! So I calmed down, and he says to me that he wants to see my throat, so I opened up and he looked in and stepped back... "Uh yeah that is Strep hunny." Oh hell, like all this other shit wasn't bad enough, how in the hell did I manage to get freaking Strep when I have been on antibiotic's for 8 out of the last 10 damn days??? He told me that the ones they had me on weren't for Strep, so they wouldn't have prevented it at all, and that I prolly got it at the ER last Friday when I went... LOL ain't that just freaking wonderful?? Not only did that whole visit go crappy, and I have to pay for the freaking ER visit, but I got sicker while I was there... that BITES!!!

So, he says to me alright lets see those ovaries!! Well, they are both smaller today, and have a few cysts on them, but the fluid behind my uterus is gone. I showed him my legs, and he said "I know you aren't gonna want to hear this, but that is a good thing." HUH??? Good??? I look like I have Quasimodo legs!!! He laughed and said "Yeah but that means that the fluid is starting to move out of your abdomen, and get back into the bloodstream where you can pass it easier." Ok, that makes more sense to me.... it still hurts though. So, I got another script for a different antibiotic. He told me to come back Tuesday if I am not feeling better. He looked at me right before he gave me the script and told me that I was ok, and I was gonna be ok, and he gave me a hug!! How sweet was that??? I am sure it really scared the hell out of him to see me lose it like that, but I am sure I wasn't the first, and won't be the last!!

On another note, today I celebrated a little "birthday" of sorts. It was 6 years ago today that I had Gastric Bypass surgery, and I have managed (well that is until the last week) to keep all of the 120 pounds that I lost off. That has been a big deal to me because most of the statistics say that if you can keep the weight off for 5 years, then you usually keep it off for good. I think that has been one of the reasons that the 20 pounds I gained with OHSS has hit me so hard.... I am totally terrified of gaining that weight back, and I still struggle everyday with making the right choices when it comes to food and all that jazz. Gastric Bypass isn't a "fix" it is a "tool" and that tool can fail if you don't use it right, so weight maintenance is still a struggle for me everyday, but I plan on winning the battle!!

Well, this got long, and it is late here so I am sleepy, not to mention the fact I just threw down some pain meds, so I am off for the night to try to get some sleep, and pray like hell that I start seeing some sort of a freaking line on those damn evil PEE STICKS in the next day or so!!!!! :oP~~~~~