I cannot express with words how much all of the comments on my last post meant to me. I am so touched that so many people came here just to "Hold my Hand" in such a sad time. I have to confess though that what I didn't tell you was that my Noodle was just one of the fur babies that we had to put to sleep last week. I know that was a little unfair to the rest of them, but I had such a special place in my heart for him.
We have been Infertiles for so many years that along with that just seemed the natural progression to add to our family in the only way that we could, the four legged kiddo's. Most of our animals are over the age of 5, and as a result we had some very elderly pets. Our cat Patches went to the Bridge with Noodle on Thursday. Patches was 13 years old, I'd had her from a 2 week old kitten, and she was a joy who had helped me overcome many things. She had a cancerous tumor in her sinus cavity that was inoperable. On Wednesday, we had to send two of our older girls to the Bridge together also. BB had breast cancer that had already been treated once and had come back in the last few months with a vengeance. China had terrible hip dysplasia that wasn't being helped with meds anymore, and she was in almost constant pain. China and BB were buried together in the back field of our property under a nice big pine tree. Both of them loved to be outdoors, so we saw that as the best way to honor them. They were the best of friends in life, and will now rest together in death. I also put China's tire and basketball with them so that she would have them over at the Bridge.
I got Noodle and Patches back from the crematorium today, and it was nice that they were back home with me, but bittersweet at the same time.
I realize to some people this may seem extreme, but I had been putting it off for so long, and things just weren't getting any better for them, or easier for me. I had made Keith promise that he wouldn't make me do the deed before the Holidays, so after the New Year, I knew the jig was up. I honestly tried to get a date where all four of them could go together, but it wasn't possible.
Losing an animal no matter how, be it natural death, or by having to put them to sleep, is so hard for a lot of people. I have however come to realize one thing over this last week.... Infertiles seem to really be on the harder end of the loss of a pet. Now, I am not saying that fertiles don't feel the pain, but infertile people seem to be ten times more attached to their fur babies. I think it is because we crave what an animal gives us in the way of parenting. When we bring this little (or rescue) bundle home with us, it is really like bringing home that which we long so much for. We get to feed them, love and dote on them, and tend to their every need. We become attuned and attached to them with every fiber of our being because they represent our unattainable (at that point) dream. A Baby. I have seen it over and over in my day to day life, and now here in the blogging world. We see our pets as a surrogate child, and therefore the loss is felt so deeply, ranking right up there with the loss of a human family member. Of course this is just my thought on this, and a general observation.
Again I want to thank every person who time out of their day to come here and offer condolence's and support. It really means the world to me right now.
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