I got through it.....

Well, I got through the surgery, that was about the only positive thing of the day. I was scheduled to start at 2 PM, and they didn't get started until 3:30. I was getting very tired and cranky, not to mention I was STARVING and THIRSTY. The surgery in front of us went way over. When my RE finally came up, and we had a minute to talk, she said that she got a note about me having taken all of the pain killers that she gave me for after surgery, and I told her yes because I was in such terrible pain Wednesday through Sunday because I started bleeding on CD16, which was Wednesday, and the pain was HORRIBLE, so yeah I did take all 20 of the T-3 that she gave me ... although not all at once!! She asked me if this was the worst yet, and I told her yes it was, and she looked at me and said that she was getting really worried about what she was going to find in there. They came in a few minutes later to get me, slammed some stuff in the old IV, and off to NeverLand I went. I guess it took them 2 and 1/2 hours, and I was very stunned when Clark told me in the PACU that she got in to the Lap to find that I had severe adhesions all over in my abdomen and pelvis, so bad in fact that my right ovary was attached to my liver. She found a cyst almost twice the size of my ovary on the left side, and it was very infected, I have no idea why we didn't see that on u/s if it was so big, but that was the side where she was worried about the fluid behind the ovary. I had Endo all over, and my right ovary is deformed ... in her words it looked like a banana. I also swear I heard one of the nurses say that I had, had a failed Hysteroscopy, I don't know if I imagined it, or if it really was said, as I was just coming out from under the anesthesia when I heard that, so I will have to ask her. She didn't really go into detail with Clark I guess, but she did give him a ton of pictures, and from what I saw in them it was pretty bad. I don't have my post-op until the 5th of September, so the waiting begins again. I am very saddened by this whole thing as I feel like if I had not had my WLS then I wouldn't have had all the scarring, and I think she feels the same way as we had already talked about that before @ my pre-op, and it had actually come up to with my last RE 2 years ago. I just feel like all this is all my fault somehow, and I have sooooo much guilt right now. The best part of the whole day was when they brought Clark in, he walked right over and gave me the biggest kiss on the forehead, and whispered "I love you so much sweetie" in my ear..... that just made my day. When I got home Kent was still up, and he just started crying when he hugged me and said, "I am sooooo glad you are OK Mom." That was the second best part of the day!! I am feeling so so as I finish this. It is 1 AM and I am wide awake right now. The incisions hurt pretty bad, and I am very sore in my whole "tummy," but the meds are really helping. I had to put new bandages over the steri-strips when we got home because they were soaked with blood, and I had blood on my clothes, so we put a ton of gauze and more Band-Aids to make it through the night. She told Clark to expect me to be VERY sore internally the next few days due to all the work they did, so I am pretty glad that they gave me extra meds to come home with.