August 22, 2006

Finishing up....

Ok, so where was I??? Oh yeah I left off with the Fur Babies.....

The Home Front:
Well things over all are going Great here. Clark sold his Camero, and his motorcycle, and is working on the Escort now. He traded in his Amanti for a Kia Rio and he loves it. My mom was going to come out this summer, but Clark and I spent so much on vet bills that we told her to just not worry about it, airline tickets are to expensive anyway. We also had to scrap the porch because of the money that we had to shell out for the dogs, but I am totally ok with that. My dogs are like my kids, and I don't mind the money going to care for them at all. Clark's mom was also supposed to come out but she had to have surgery, and couldn't swing it, or didn't want to swing it, I think it is the second one, but that is just my opinion. When I told her that we were having trouble with Kent's behavior, was when she started changing her mind. Not that I mind her not coming here and judging me, my house, my animals, and my life in general, but it pisses me off for Kent because he was looking forward to meeting his other grandmother. I am sad for him, but I will never talk about how I feel about the whole thing in front of him. I really think that she just can't handle that she has a grandchild with a disability, and frankly it really pisses me off. She and I have never gotten along, and I think it drives her insane that I am still married to her son. Oh well, that is her problem huh??!!

My Biofather and step mother were going to come out this summer to... noticing a trend here?? I am... But, they are still coming they just had to move their trip back because of an ant issue at their house. The little buggers ate the wood all around their windows, so they had to have them all replaced. So for now my dad is working overtime, and saving back up to come out when it gets a little cooler, and I am hoping that maybe my youngest brother and his wife will come out with my niece when they do. I haven't seen them since last summer, and I miss them. Besides J is my only neice/nephew, and I want to see her grow up as much as I can. J (my middlebrother) is in Iraq right now, but he got accepted to Cheif Warrent Officer school to be a helicopter pilot, and I couldn't be more proud of him if I tried!! He and his new wife got stationed up in WA state, and then when he got there they told him that he had to go back to Iraq for months, but since he got in to school he will be home by the end of the month, God willing. I haven't met my new sister in law, but I hear that she is just an amazing person, and my mom told me that my brother seemed so very happy when they stopped to visit her on the way to WA. I am glad that he has found someone to really love him, compliment him, and make him happy, because he deserves it. She sent me a card with some pics of them and some of the family from the trip out to WA, and then the new house that they bought. He really does look a lot happier with her in the pictures... you know how you can see the happiness on a persons face, well it was there, and I am just giddy for the both of them.

The Me Front:
Well my meds have been increased to 60mgs per day because the last time I was in I told him I was still having problems with depression. I think, no I know that a lot of it has to do with the whole DSS thing, BTW I am still fighting them, the infertility, and the whole family dianamics stuff that is going on. Infertility is the biggie for me right now though, and I know that and accept it, although I am really hoping that tomorrow will give me some answers one way or the other, and I can get on with things. I have quite a few friends and family members who are in the process of ending their marriages, either on good terms, or bad, or struggling to keep it together. It makes me so sad to see this happen. I love all of my friends, and hate to see them going through this pain. It really seems so unfair to me that they can't all have perfect relationships, but then I guess there is no such thing. I just hate to see people I thought I knew doing such horrible things to the person that they promised to love forever. I know forever is a fairy tale, but hell I believe in fairy tales!! I look at all that Clark and I have, how far we have come, and the struggles that we have worked through, and I can't imagine not having had all of that wrapped up in one great experience. I love being married to him, and he gives me so much love and laughter that I can't ever imagine a day w/o him in it. He is just amazing to me this man who loves me, and holds me everynight. Kisses me as soon as he comes through the door, and does his best to deal with my moods!! God love him for that because I know I do!! LOL He really is my everything, I couldn't ask for much more, and I am thankful for everyday that I have with him. Ok, I am starting to get a little to mushy I know, but I guess having surgery tomorrow has gotten me thinking. I filled out my Living Will tonight, and I was just thinking about this stuff all day. I am just worried about something happening to one of us, and what the one left would have to do, and it really made me realize just how much I do love him. Through everything, I have always loved him.

Ok, off that subject. Yeah surgery is tomorrow, and I am worried, but I am sure everything will be fine, but I get so freaking trippy when I have to have surgery anymore. I know I am not invincible anymore!! LOL Not that I ever was, but you know the way when you were young you just knew nothing bad was going to ever happen to you?? Well, I think I lost that between now and when I had my Gastric Bypass 5 and 1/2 years ago. We have a son now, and I have so much more to live for that it just seem to have triggered a change in my way of thinking. Lord, there I go again..

Well, we hare supposed to have Kent's sister down to stay with us for the weekend, and both Kent and I are so excited. Her parents have split up, and I know that she just needs this time with him as much as he needs it with her. I don't know just what we are going to do yet, but I am going to try to make it great for both of them, so I hope that I feel better by the time Friday rolls around.

Oh yeah I almost forgot... Kent's dad sent us a letter in June I think. The man has found God, and wants to have contact with his son.... Nevermind the fact that he hasn't even tried to contact him for 3 years, and he had no idea that we had even adopted Kent. I wanted to call him and rip his throat out over the phone. The last time he had contact with Kent he was supposed to take him for the weekend, well henever showed up to get him, and then had his Mother (Kent's G-ma) call me and tell me that dad was mad because I turned him into DSS for drugs. Well of course I did, but that was like 3 months after he came to live with us, and this incident was almost 2 years later. That was the last we heard from either of them. Then all out of the blue this letter shows up... We were so mad at him(dad) that Clark and I had decided that we weren't going to say anything to Kent or call or contact his dad about the letter until both of us could calm down and be civil when we did talk to him. I just don't get how you can blow your child off for years, and then boom you want to walk back into his life like nothing ever happened. Some people I swear!! Don't get me wrong, I know that is his dad, but Clark is his FATHER. We are the ones who holds Kent when he cries, is sick, or needs us. We are the ones who have brought him to being the young man that he is, and I will not let that man ruin my son again. He already did that once, and I refuse to let him do it again. UGH

Well, I am gonna hit the sack, I have to get up early and starve for half of the day before I have surgery... I hate that it is so late in the day. I had to quit my Metformin last night, only to have my blood sugar drop this AM about 11:30, so I am hoping that it doesn't do that tomorrow to, cuz I won't be able to eat to bring it back up. Well, hopefully I will be back soon. Later

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