Post Op appointment....

I know it has been awhile, but after surgery I was in a lot of pain, and not feeling well most of the time, so I did alot of sleeping, and being miserable!! I went to my post-op appointment today, and was blown away by what the RE told me. She said that she was literally shocked when she got in my tummy to see all of the scar tissue that was there, here is the list of what she found:

1. My colon was totally attached to my abdominal wall.

2. There was the cyst on the left ovary.

3. My left ovary, tube, and the left side of my uterus were attached to my bowel and left kidney, and were pulling off to that side because of it.

4. My bladder was covered with scar tissue to the point that it had almost folded in half.

5. I have stage 3 endomitriosis all over my uterus, bowels, bladder, and a little on the ovaries.

6. My right ovary was attached to my liver, and is also deformed. There was also scar tissue binding my right tube to my bladder.

7. I had superfluous fluid all over my abdoman from the endomitriosis (not a good thing) so that is the fluid that we were seeing on u/s, she said there was alot of it.

So, that is the breakdown, bad news all the way around really. I asked her if the scar tissue will come back, and she said it isn't a matter of if, it is a matter of when and how bad it will be the next time, so I guess that I have a few more of these little surgeries to look forward to!! GREAT!!! NOT!!! Oh yeah and the failed hysteroscopy didn't have anything to do with me or her, they had one scope that leaked when she hooked it up, and then when they pulled the other one out of the autoclave it was the wrong one, so she said that due to the scarring she decided that there wasn't a point in looking anyway, so she scratched that. I have had two good looking HSG's anyway, so she didn't feel like it was the inner working, but the outer ones (scarring , etc.) that were the issue. So the new gameplan is not what I wanted to hear either:

1. Injectibles with IUI

2. IVF

She told me to talk it over with Clark, and let her know as soon as we decided. We are gonna skip the next cycle, and start with the one after that around November with whatever we decide to go with. I was not ready to hear that at all, and I am feeling even more like a failure now. My mom told me that she had Endo when they took her ovaries out last year, and I can't help but wonder if this is just one more thing that I got from her... don't get me wrong, I LOVE my mom, but everytime something goes wrong, it seems like it is something that I "got" from her, and frankly it is getting on my damn nerves!!!

I just can't help but feel like I can't get kicked any further down then where I am at right this moment. I really am freaking hating this whole thing, and I can't stop beating myself up over it! Why can I not catch a damn break??? UGH!!

Well, on another note, I quit smoking today, I had my last smoke tonight, and I am wearing a patch that is burning the shit out of me!!! Oh well, gotta get it right this time, and I will even if it kills me!! I have done it before, but I always fall on my face when I get around my friends that smoke... I have no will power!!! LOL

Kent started back to school on the 25th, and is doing good so far. They didn't have school the 31st or the 1st due to the weather here, so the little turkey got a 5 day weekend!!! But he will have to go this Saturday!! Ha Ha!!! He has been doing better about getting in his stander, so that is better.

Oh yeah, and about the weather, good lord we got 17 inches of rain in a little over 48 hours!! There were times when it rained so bad and hard that we couldn't see the grass because of the water in the yard. It was horrible all over, and there were areas where it flooded so bad that people couldn't get out of thier houses til Sunday. I was here for Isabel, and it was a full fledged hurricane, and it wasn't as bad as this little tropical storm Mr. Ernesto!! The other end of our raod washed out, so now people have to drive to our end, and go back.... that makes it a 6 mile trek for them to get back into town!! So then, it starts raining again today and they had flash flood warnings all over the place, so it was a mess when I was coming home!! Boy what a day!!

Well, it is late, and I need to get some sleep, but I will post tomorrow, and tell you about my new furniture fiasco....