Poking right along....

Well, today marks one week of stabbing myself with tiny needles, and the last day of BCP's for what I hope will be one hell of a long time!!! I have been doing pretty ruff with the side effects of the combo this time. The last time I was just on the L*pron alone, I had no issues really, just little stuff here and there..... but this time, there have been headaches, sleep disturbances (mostly not being able to be disturbed enough to sleep), nausea in a big way, and a thirst that would make a seasoned alcoholic jealous (but I stay away from the "hard" stuff!!). So, needless to say this has not been a fun week, and I am hoping that by not having the pill in the mix, things will get better. My ovaries settled down after about the end of the 2nd day, so that isn't a worry anymore. No pressure, constant peeing, bloating or anything else, so I will cross my legs and pray that is a good sign.

I ordered a t-shirt last week, and it finally came tonight. I am excited because I am going to wear it when I go to Clinic next week. It has a HUGE blank name tag on it... you know the ones that they give out when you go to a meeting, or a convention... it says "Hello my name is...." and then has a spot for your name.... well I had it personalized to have my name be.... Mrs. Murphy. I know you know what I was aiming for.... Murphy's Law. I am trying to be a little light about this whole thing, and feel like I really just needed some serious humor to start my Stims off on the right foot!! Ok, I actually just want to be a total smart ass, but hey whatever works right??

Kent came home from school today with some VERY good news... he was asked to join the Junior Beta Club at school!! This is a very select group of honor students, and he has really been working hard for the last year and a half to keep his grades up to be asked. The kids have to carry a 93% average for the 7th grade, and the first 2 quarters of the 8th grade, and then be nominated to join. We are so proud of him because this is such an achievement for him. This is the kid they thought was going to never have an above 3rd grade intelligence due to his tumor/cancer... guess he showed them huh??!! He just continues to amaze his mom and dad so much with how far he has come!! I can't even believe this is the same kid that I brought home almost 5 years ago!! GO KENT!!! Oh yeah and on another note.. the GIRLS are getting a little more interested in him now, and he is LOVING that to.... ahhh to be a fly on those walls!!!

Well, it has been a very long day, and I have to go out all day tomorrow, so I need to hit the sack... I will see you later.....

I updated....

I have decided that I am gonna keep my blogger account and close my AOL journal. I spent several hours last night moving everything over here, and I hope that you will go back and read the archives!! Thanks again, and I hope that you are all having a Happy New Year so Far!!!

I almost forgot.....

Boy what a bad hostess am I??? Happy New Year!!!! I hope that all your hopes, dreams, and wishes come true in 2007!!!

What was I thinking??.....

When I left the house this afternoon?? I was requested by DH to go out to lunch with him because well, I am a SAHM, the Boy went back to school today, and he was home "mourning" ... gotta love having a govt. employee as a spouse. (most of the time anyway) I really haven't been feeling to well on this BCP/Lupron combo, and I have been VERY bitchy, and besides I had a headache, but I told him that I would love to have lunch with him. See, I was thinking that I could get one more meal of Sushi in before (hopefully) I can't eat it for 9 months, but he had other plans....

I need to cut into my own story to plant a seed in your minds ... we live in the south, I am surrounded by RedNecks, and most of the time I really don't mind as they can be wholly entertaining to be around, but there are times when I know, and am reminded that we live in an area where the gene pool is shallow at best. No, I am not "from" here I am a transplant, and yes I totally chose to live here, and I for the most part love all of the RedNecks I run into ... but I digress...

So into town we go and DH decides that we will go to Mega chinese buffet. Now we live in the rural south, and our town has maybe 200 people, so when we go to the "city" it isn't a major metropolitan area at all. The shopping here is limited, and so are the eatery choices... esp. the ones that I will eat at, and Mega Buffet is one of the ones I like. So in we go, and the first thing I am faced with is the CUTEST little Asian baby. The woman holding her is obviously not her mother (the blonde hair, and very pale skin gave that one up), and she is in the middle of what I am sure is her answer to that very question.... "well, we left her middle name as her Korean first name, I don't know for the life of me what it means, but I am sure that will give her something to look forward to finding out when she is older." Are you freaking kidding me?? You left an intrigal part of your child's heritage intact but you don't know what her name means?? I have it on very good authority that it is very important what Korean women name their babies, and it is also very hard emotionally for them to relinquish due to the family values there!! (I have a Korean step-mom) ACK....

So, we get seated, and what to my eyes do appear??? Pregnant bellies everywhere.. holy shit... Don't they know an Infertile has entered the building, and they should all run screaming from the joint for fear of catching it??? Ok, maybe not, but for crying out loud... I know that pregnant women love chinese food, but how in the hell did so many of them end up at this buffet?? Oh that's right, I live in rural America, land of few choices of places to eat really good chinese food, screwed. The sad thing about it was that it seemed that as one left she was replaced by yet another. The highlight came though when I was on a trip to get more snap beans (I'm a Junkie feeding a habit!!) and I find myself standing next to 2 of the aforementioned bellies. Now my plan was to get my beans, avoid eye contact, and return to my table ... but this woman commanded my attention with the best comment I have heard in a long time... "I can tell you that losing my job last week is the best thing that has happened to me this whole pregnancy, but with what welfare pays for babies these days I don't know how I am going to feed two extra mouths." @@ So, I HAD to look up, and I looked into the face of my worst nightmare ... she had to have been pushing 50 (no I am serious), reeked of cigarette smoke, had filthy clothes on, a few stumps of teeth left, and she was making this comment to her 14-16 year old looking companion with identical (albeit slightly smaller) PG belly..... Nuff said. Don't you just love rural life????

I get a horrorscope everyweek that goes a day at a time for the week, and as if I wasn't having enough of a problem deciding if doing this IVF was right, timing, and all the other doubts I am having I get this email from the writer of my scope.. in it she freaks me the hell out... look at this....

This new period of luck will be bountiful. I can already feel it vibrating very deeply in me! ( am I the only one who see's that as WEIRD???)
This lucky period starts for you at the very beginning of January 12th, 2007 and will reach its peak exactly 83 days later, on April 5th, 2007 (the second very important date in your life...)!
After that, you'll still have 145 days left in the lucky period, then, that's it. It'll all be over -- unless you've learned by then to take charge of your luck, to grab it with both hands and direct it where you choose!
But we're only talking about your financial problems now -- we are forgetting the emotional side of your personality. You are also in the midst of negotiating a very important turning-point in your emotional and family life. Despite your financial difficulties, Rebel, you've succeeded in maintaining a certain bond of intimacy with your close friends and loved ones.
And so much the better for them and for you. You really must decide to free yourself from this heavy burden created by the negative waves you've been accumulating for so many, many years. It's your happiness and your future that we are talking about now, and by extension, the happiness and future of your close friends and loved ones. Yes, I see happiness and love headed your way, Rebel, the love which you've always aspired to and which YOU DESERVE!

Now where in the hell does this come from?? I mean really this kind of thing wants to make me run screaming from the room not send her money for some stupid book for cripes sake!!! I don't have financial issues, and if I did how would sending her money help me there, other then being 10 bucks broker?? Oh boy. If I was suspicious, I might bite as the 11th is the day I am supposed to start stims, and I think that about the time my luck would change would be right about the time I would deliver ... oh great there goes 10 bucks.... FUDGE!!!

3 Days and Counting.....

I think my husband is trying to kill me, or he wants me to kill him ... either way someone in this house is probably going to HAVE to die!!!

DH calls me Friday afternoon and asks what my thoughts are on a new TV... I didn't think that we really needed one, but he has been wanting a new one for a while now. In the past say year, before we got our new furniture, we had discussed a new Hi-def TV and entertainment center. The new entertainment center would be needed because the one we had is a) to small for the tv he wanted, and b) the wrong color of our new coffee and end tables. So when he comes home from work, Kent and I are told that we will be going out to eat, and then to Sears to pick up said new TV... I thought this odd because Sears isn't where the tv and ent. center I thought we were getting was sold. But alas, my husband has decided that his sights were just to lofty for his wallet (not really, but who knows what the hell men really think) and he had decided that he no longer wanted to invest in a new ent. center. Ok, fine I realize that at this point an argument isn't going to get me anywhere, so I go along to see just what it is that he has decided he is going to buy. Well, after spending over an hour and a half eating at R*by T**sd*ys, and totally being disappointed AGAIN, we march off to find out that our little Sears is now closed at 6:30. On. A. Friday. Night. Are you freaking kidding me here??? Apparently they don't stay open past 6 pm for fear of making some extra weekend cash, who knew. So off to the house we go empty handed. Well, shit, no new toys tonight.

I was up just bright and early with visions of insulin needles dancing in my head, and couldn't get back to sleep after having to fight with 2 dogs over my little blanket, so I am up, and it is now 7 am. Saturday. There was some discussion the night before as to whether we should also replace the 10 year old shelf stereo that we have hooked up for "surround sound" to our very shortly to be replaced tv, so I get into W*l-M*rt mode, sans internet, and find a very nicely priced system that will very surely fill our needs. After Kent gets up, eats, and we handle the run to the dump, we were off to town once again... Well, wouldn't you know, said Sears doesn't even sell our new TV, and what in the hell made the Man think they would??? My house is bigger then the square footage in that whole damn store.... ahhh, but I have to admire the saleswoman who tried in vain to convince us that we HAD to have a HDTV flatscreen cuz they were THE best.... Yeah whatever, I know that you work on commission, and I want THAT tv which your store doesn't posses..... Buh bye. Off to Wally World. Do you think they have what I need??? NOPE. In their defense the store is getting ready to close to move a larger (THANK THE GODS) location, so they are a little low on inventory. Just my Luck!!!! Hot Dogs for lunch and back home. Well, needless to say our next chance at this TV finding us requires a one hour (if Clark drives) trip to Virginia... SHIT. I hate driving up there. But alas, the TV beckons to Clark as if his life depended on it, and the Wally World 10 blocks away was sure to have the surround sound we wanted (way bigger store!!) Mind you it is now 4:30 pm as we all climb back into the van and head out. Now herein is where my problem lays, mostly. I have been VERY, and I do mean VERY Bitchy the last 3 days. Maybe it is the Lupron, but maybe it is the snotty remarks Clark keeps making everytime I mention getting pregnant this cycle. He thinks that I am getting way to excited. Are you kidding me. It was the due date thing again he tells me in the van. Well, then forget I even mentioned it for crying out loud!!! We got the TV, the surround sound system, Advil (desperately needed by me at this point), dinner at a place I love, and made it back home by 8:30. And he was still alive. We take everything out of the boxes, hook it up, and of course you know there is an issue. So, after listening to him whine for over 2 hours, I finally figured out what was wrong.... let him fix it, and sent his ass to bed!!! Who knew a TV could be such a strain on a person. I have to admit that I am disappointed that we ended up with a smaller TV then we had been talking about, and no new ent. center, (because we all know that oak and cherry so clash) mostly because it was something that we have been talking about for so long, and I really would have waited a few more months to save the money.... I never will understand that man......