October 19, 2009

Hello Again...

It has been a month since I posted about the trifecta, and frankly I have sat here a hundred times to update, but it all felt so wrong... I mean who wants to listen to me bitch every post?? I honestly don't have much to say right now, everything is still the same, with a temper tantrum (on my part, causing the dump to receive an end table, and what was left of our spare phone), a verbal fight or two with Clark, and further complications with Kent and his attitude.

Kent turned 18 almost 2 weeks ago, so according to his train of thought, I have lost about another 100 I.Q. points. I am still struggling a lot with his attitude and unwillingness to pay attention to his personal hygiene needs, it drives me bat shit crazy that he is so neglectful of his body. We have upped therapy from every 2 weeks to once a week, and it still doesn't seem to be helping. They talk about things that hurt him, then he takes all his anger out on me and Clark because of it. Today we see the physcologist to change his meds... the Lex*pro is just not working. He has become more hateful, spiteful, and rude since he has been on it, and I am beginning to think that the bad is far outweighing the good when it comes to this med. So, hopefully she will change it.

Turtle is doing very well. She was 21 months old on Saturday, and it was all I could do not to just sit and hold her all day long. She is so much of a joy most of the time. Her giggles warm my heart, and watching her play with Clark is more amazing then I ever imagined it could be. That little girl loves her daddy so much!! Of course she has more then enough of my personality to cause her some issues.... we butt heads all the time!! :o) She is very stubborn, and persistent when she wants something that it is wearing me out to do battle with her all day long. She loves to be outside playing, which has been undo able the last few days due to weather, so she has been even more of a terror then normal! She really is amazing though, she is so smart, and keeps us guessing all the time. I am introducing the potty, and she was running around the house naked as a jay bird the other day.... we did the potty sit every 15 minutes, and nothing. I was watching the stove for dinner, and peaked around the corner to see why she was so quiet..... She had lifted her leg and was peeing on the bookshelf!!! Hmmm maybe we need to keep her from watching the dogs outside so much.

No decision about the embies yet. I have had to keep myself in check a few times, like when Clark asked me what I wanted for Christmas. Gee, that didn't need to be asked. I am however taking steps to move in the donation direction if that is what we come to. I would rather have a plan in place then have to start when we decide. I am doing ok for the most part. It is still a struggle every day, but I try very hard to just focus on the Turtle and what I do have then the Maybes and What Ifs.

So there you have it. Nothing major, just the same old crap. I do want to send a special thanks out to everyone who commented and emailed me asking if everything was ok. I am just not sure what I would do if I didn't know that you were all out there rooting for me. I promise I will try hard not to stay gone so long again.

With much Love!!!

12 comments:

My Reality said...

You know, I was just thinking about you.

Glad you are hanging in there.

serenity said...

My Reality said it better than I could. Been thinking about you, too.

xxx

Carrie said...

Good to hear from you again...I've been thinking about you and sending you strength!!!

Kristin said...

I am sorry you are having such issues with Kent. I hope a change in meds helps.

Turtle sounds like an absolute delight.

{{{Hugs}}}

Erin said...

Also glad you're hanging in. That's all that you can ask for at this point.

Kristine said...

So nice to hear an update. :)

Kibbles said...

Thanks for the update..was thinking about you guys!

Photogrl said...

Hanging in there is okay.

You can bitch all you want.

((HUGS))

daega99 said...

Many hugs to you!!!

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Kibbles said...

Hi Rebel
Its been awhile...
I hope everything is going better for you.

Been missing my sweet Turtle fixes! :)