August 20, 2009


I can't seem to find to find myself right now.

I have been avoiding so many places, family and friends.

It just seems surreal that I have to accept the end when I don't know how to.

I thought I had all of this under control.

I lied to myself and everyone else when I said I could just walk away from trying without heartbreak.

Heartbreak doesn't even begin to describe it actually.

The pictures of Turtle from the beginning bring so many tears... both of happiness and then sadness.

I really am trying to find my way out of this cloud, but the sun just isn't getting through right now.


Kristin said...

I am so sorry Rebel. I wish I could say more or do more or just make it a little bit better. {{{Hugs}}}

Tracey said...

Your in my prayers...I do understand....I had to deal with the same does get better....blessings and hugs!

serenity said...

*hug* Wish I had the words to make it better.


Suzy said...

So sorry. Wish I could say something to make it better.

Sending you (((hugs)))

Anonymous said...

You don't just get over this right away. You have to allow yourself time to grieve and heal. It will get less raw, but I don't know if it will ever go entirely away.

Erin said...

MyReality is right--it takes time to grieve when such a deeply-held dream doesn't come true. Give yourself that time and it will eventually hurt less than it does right now.

Susan said...

Been there, suffered that, hate it for you and praying for you. Go play a good game of Whack a Mole or shoot at something. Love ya, Rebel!

Lost in Space said...

I'm sorry, Rebel. I wish there was a way around the grief. Hugs.

Kibbles said...

I'm so so sorry Rebel.

Wish this could've been happier.

Hug Turtle extra tight..

This WILL start to feel better.

Major Hugs.

Lorraine said...

I have never been able to get rid of everything. I've given away the things that, deep down, I knew I would probably replace anyway - but I can imagine how hard it must be to go through those things with a finality.

I hope the process helps you feel free in some way, that you can gain at least something instead of feeling only that you're losing what you hoped for. I think that only time will really make much of a difference, but I still wish for you that something could help now.

Lots of dear thoughts to you,