August 15, 2009

Sorting.....

I sorted the Turtles baby things today.

I felt my heart breaking as I held those tiny little outfits in my hands.

They will never again be worn by a child of mine.

I set a few of my favorite outfits and toys aside for her when she grows up.

I am having a yard sale next week to get rid of all things infant.

I just can't have them in my face, taunting me with what will never be.

I really fucking hate Infertility.

15 comments:

Joey's Mama said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rotten said...

I am so sorry you are going through all of this. I wish I could say something... anything to make it better for you.

Kristin said...

I am so, so sorry Rebel. I wish I could say or do something to make it hurt less.

intricatelycomplex said...

Rebel, I am so sorry you are going through this.
As hard as this is, I know you you will get through it. You are an amazingly strong woman. Having said that, it is 100% okay not to be strong at this point. Whatever you do, don't bottle this all up. Grieve, cry, be angry, do what it is you do to help yourself deal with this situation. And it certainly is a most horrible situation.
You're in my thoughts.

DD said...

The first time I rid my closets of XBoy's baby things, I didn't know we'd struggle. I wish I had kept a few more things. Sure, I'd probably find them and sob hysterically, but some day I would have been able to show them to him with pride. Infertility is a thief of joy, hope and pride.

Sarah and Andy said...

I'm so sorry. I don't know what to say. I fucking hate it too! ((((HUGS))))

My Reality said...

I am sorry you are in this place.

JJ said...

Im so sorry sweetie...been thinking of you.

Aunt Becky said...

Oh Rebel, I'm so sorry.

Erin said...

I can't get rid of P's baby things or my maternity clothes. It's just too painful, even though P is turning 6 in a few months and that was the last time any of them were used by a child of mine.

Many, many hugs because I know just how intensely painful that is.

momofonefornow said...

I am so sorry sweetie! I had to do that earlier this summer and it was horrible. I feel your pain. Sending you huge hugs!

Rotunda said...

Sorry to hear about your infertility problems. It's tough but don't give up hopes.Try to calm yourself.Feel free to share your thoughts with us. We are happy to help. http://twitter.com/RotundaCHR

Susan said...

A big, understanding FUCK from me. I'm sorry, sweetie.

CandCFamily said...

It is really sad and hard. I finally decided to start purging some baby stuff, but haven't been able to bring myself to get rid of all of it.

butterflyanla said...

may the purging give you some relief. I am so sorry for you.