Gosh... you missed me!!

Aww Tesi, thanks for making my day and waking me up!! The Turtle says HI, and that she is doing very fine!! She is loving the fact that her mommy has finally decided to start planning her shower... so that has been keeping her very occupied!!

On the front with Kent however things have been very tense. I guess a little background is in order here just so that I can explain part of my absence here, and our new way of dealing with our son.

Kent had Cancer when he was 6 almost 7, and became paralyzed. He was living with some family members and was removed from that home by Social Services shortly after his 8th birthday. He was placed in foster care, and that was where he was when I met him in Feb of 2000, as his personal care aide. Kent then was placed in a different foster home until he came to live with us in March of 2002. We adopted Kent in 2005.

To say that this boy was traumatized by his illness, would be right, to say that he was doubly traumatized by the abuse that he has suffered would be an understatement. Kent's birth family had what I like to refer to as "neglect guilt"... they all started showering him with gifts and stuff after his diagnosis, in my opinion not because they loved him, but because they got caught neglecting him in a terrible way, and didn't want to get into more trouble.. I hope that makes sense. So when we got Kent, he was spoiled, and we got caught up in it to as a way to try to control his behavior...I mean come on the kid could be GOLDEN when you bribed him!!! We have been through all kinds of meds, therapy, and several diagnosis' for his emotional issues, but I think that just recently it has dawned on Clark and I what the real issue is.... Kent has learned to use and rely on the fact that he is disabled to get whatever he wants, no matter who else suffers. He uses manipulation to try to get his way, and when that doesn't work, he throws in that he should get it simply because he is disabled. Not a valid reason in my book.

Now we have been working on him with this for some time, and we always seem to end up at an impasse. He always wins in the end. Well, Clark and I decided that his days of constantly being the victor were over. We warned him, and gave him 2 chances to get it together.... about 2 weeks time, well he didn't get the message apparently because we almost had to call the police on him Sunday when he threw a tantrum and started throwing things because we cancelled his birthday. I don't mean the party, I mean the whole birthday. I know that sounds drastic, but this is a 16 year old who acts like he is 2 when he doesn't get his way, is neglecting his personal hygiene, and his school work to the point that it is no longer acceptable to let him act like this. He has got to pull it together and act like a responsible young man if he intends for anyone to take him serious when he becomes an adult. He is a very smart young man, and knows exactly what he is doing, and will tell you to your face that he is doing it. It has crushed us to do this because we love him and enjoy doing things for him, but this kind of thing has got to stop, so that he can grow up to be a good man and realize that the world isn't going to give a shit about him just because he is in a wheelchair!!

So needless to say that is one of the big reasons that I have been absent the last weeks, things are getting so hard in dealing with him, that I mostly just retreat to my room when he comes home from school. It is terrible to feel like a prisoner in your home because of a child. It has been even harder to step up to the plate and admit that we became part of the problem. I just want him to be all that I know he can be if he really puts his heart and soul into becoming a good man and person, but all he wants is for everyone to pity him and hand him everything on a platter.....

I so totally love that child, and will keep struggling to help him with all that I have, and at the same time try so hard to keep myself sane waiting for Turtle to make her way into the world!!

LOL bet that wasn't what you wanted when you asked how we were was it?? Well, I thought it was time to come clean with you all about why I have been so distant these last few weeks. I do hope that you can understand, and still love me!! :o)