When I started this blog almost 4 & 1/2 years ago, I never thought I would be in the place that I am today. I went back and read all of my posts today, and learned a few things about myself.
I am the same person that I was back then, only better. I say better because back then I didn't know how to feel my pain. Sure I put it out there for everyone to read, but I never really felt it. I denied a lot of what I was feeling for a very long time... sorta you know talking the talk, but not walking the walk.
When Turtle was born, I found the place where all those feelings had gone, and when I cracked the seal on it, it really hurt to much to do anything but look at it from afar. As the months have passed I have spent more time then I care to admit in that place, working through what once was my tangled mess of a soul. I can honestly say that I have come to peace with so many hurts from the past, just because Turtle is here now.
Everyday it is like she fills a piece of that dark place with the light that only she has. Having her here has allowed me to let go of so many negative thoughts, things, and feelings about myself and the other people in my life.
I have opened my eyes to see just how beautiful the world can be when you just stop for a minute to really look at it.
I no longer take the time that I have for granted, because I know that at any moment it can all be snatched away, and I want to have lived that time to the fullest.
So here is to 300 posts of tangled mess, and to the future 300 posts... may they be half as great as the Turtle is! :o)
A Not-So Happy Ending
5 hours ago