As we walked past Kent's room tonight to put Lauryn to bed, she waved at the door and said "Goodnight Kent."
The problem with that statement is that his room is now empty of all of his things. He moved out on Saturday, or more like we asked him to leave.
After I walked out of her room my tears flowed. I never wanted things to end like this, and a mothers love doesn't just end when her children walk out the door. I will forever love him, and will always wonder why we were never good enough for him as parents or as a family. My heart is broken in a million pieces, and I am not sure how to mend it.
The last six weeks since he came home have been filled with so much anger, hurt, and frusteration that when he did go I was actually relieved, but now that we have cleaned out his room, it is real. He is gone. Not coming back. Lost to me probably forever.
Trust me when I say that when we took him in this was never a blip on my radar, but 10 years later, it is all to real. We adopted him, gave him our last name and all of our hearts, but in the end it wasn't enough for him and he walked away.
I know that this may seem like a post way out of left field since I have been gone for so long, but honestly my life has been turned upside down for the last three and a half months. I am working on a post entailing all that has gone on, but I really needed to get this off my chest tonight. No more waiting, no more hiding.
A Not-So Happy Ending
5 hours ago